Hitting My Stride

My Future Relay Team

2011-12-19T11:48:00.000-06:00

This pretty much sums up where I've been for the past year.

Gleektastic

2011-03-02T11:35:00.002-06:00

= New Favorite Workout

Hardest part is restraining my geektastic show choir drama club marching band self from running hard and singing at the top of my lungs. Cause that would totally kill the Zone 2ness of it all.

Harder to Wait for than Christmas

2011-02-16T17:17:00.003-06:00

Waiting to give Bear his bike at Christmas was a zillion times easier than waiting for it to be nice enough to let him take it outside!

After that epic blizzard, we've still got some waiting to do before all this snow melts and we can trade our ski caps for bike helmets.

You Say It's Your Birthday

2010-12-28T11:31:00.000-06:00

I have days when being in my late 30s feels really old... like when I hear teenagers asking store clerks where the legwarmers are and I'm all "um, hello, it's NOT 1986."

But mostly, I feel like this is a great age to be and I try to enjoy being young. ish.

Regardless of what kind of day I'm having, I never stop feeling this way about my holiday birthday.

Not Exactly Funny 'Ha Ha' But We Laughed Anyway

2010-12-28T11:26:00.000-06:00

Sitting around the table after a belated Christmas dinner with what's left of my mom's family, we were randomly chatting and the subject of birthdays came up (and not by me).

A minute or so into the topic you could see a light go in on my mom's face. She reached across the table to get my attention and says (Ooooh how I wish I was making this up):

"Hey, in case I forget, happy birthday"

This actually happened a couple of years ago. This year she remembered... and texted me. *head desk*

I Bet Santa Rides a Trek Too

2010-12-27T14:41:00.003-06:00

A while back I asked Bear what kind of bike he wanted for Christmas. Bear said "A red one!!"

Did you know that every decent bike model out this year is green or blue or orange or neon yellow or any color of the rainbow that's not red?

I knew the Trek Jet 16 (after exhaustive research, the model I favored anyway) came in red. I just couldn't find one anywhere - all the bike shops had blue. Turns out the red was from a previous model year. Cue the fruitless searching.

One last ditch Google the week before Christmas turned up what might possibly be the last red one in existence, at a bike shop about an hour from here (and on clearance to boot!).

I know this looks like Bear is more excited about the Percy train, but me asking him to stand by his bike was the first time he EVER he voluntarily posed for a picture... and he smiled!

Here's a better shot of the bike bling...

I was worried that it would take a few weeks or months for him to figure it out, but by the end of the day he was zooming up and down the hall, doing intricate loops around furniture and asking when he can "take bike outside go fast!!"

I think I know where my run workouts are going to come from this spring!

Cross Posted - Another Kind of Holiday Self Control

2010-12-19T15:26:00.000-06:00

My newest post is up at ShesAlwaysWrite: Another Kind of Holiday Self Control

New and Old

2010-11-18T14:27:00.000-06:00

I haven't been tri blogging much lately, but not for lack of interest or desire. I've just had to be rutheless about priorities.

So many things are happening - some are new and exciting and some are new and scary and some are old and necessary. All are for the better, and with diligence some of them will help bring me back to my beloved tri community sooner or later.

In a nutshell...

Work
Work was great this year. So great that I barely had time to keep up, now that Bear is napping less (and his therapy schedule wouldn't accomodate any more than 1 morning of daycare). My confidence in myself as a consultant has skyrocketed, years of networking and skill development have paid off, and I landed a couple of high end international scope clients this year. There are days I'm in tears from the pressure of getting it all done, and it's frustrating to have turned down a couple of jobs due to time limitations when I needed the money. But I'm proud of myself and looking forward to what next year brings.

Health
I just got a long overdue PCOS diagnosis. It explains everything that the thyroid problem alone does not, and I'm grateful to finally have these additional problems recognized. I started on the new scrip about a week ago and am having a moderately challenging transition. (If you've ever taken Metformin, you know what I mean.) But if it means A) way better chances of having another baby, and B) way better chances of not following everyone in my family down the path of Type II diabetes, then I'll suck it up and hopefully I'll be one of the patients for whom the side effects dissipate in a couple of weeks.

Fitness
I've started seeing a trainer once a week. It's not enough, but it's all I can manage right now. I can already see the improvements, and in general it's incredibly motivational. Just knowing I'm already taking this (big, time consuming, difficult at this time) step has made it easier for me to go back to making the positive choices of my heavy training days. I'm also easing yoga back into my schedule. Because, well, yoga rocks.

Bear
My beloved Baby Bear turns 3 tomorrow. The last few weeks have been an emotional roller coaster, with all the transition meetings as he ages out of Early Intervention and moves under the jurisdiction of the school district. I just got out of his IEP meeting this morning and am now working out what our weekly schedule (group therapy, daycare, home therapy stuff) will look like between now and next August (when he can start preschool).

He's doing AM. A. ZING. So much so that many people who meet him now have no clue that his bowl of alphabet soup is full of neurological acronyms. I'm so proud of him I can hardly stand it.

Blogging
Over the summer I launched a blog at ShesAlwaysWrite.com to have an outlet for the deeply challenging and emotional ride that is life with a special needs child. I now participate in a community of special needs mommy bloggers (our segment is SPD with a signficant overlap in Autistic community). I've become a member of the SPD Blogger Network and was recently honored with an invitation to become a bimonthly guest contributor on the award winning author's blog Hartley's Life With Three Boys.

I thought about it long and hard, and I decided to keep this blog alive too. I know in my heart triathlon will continue to be a part of my life, and the girls over at the SPD network don't really care how much I improve my swim or that I negative split the Turkey Trot 5K : )

I miss you all, and I do try to keep up with you in the rare moments I steal to peek at my Reader feed. If you see comments from shesalwayswrite, please know it's just me too busy to log into my triathlon account.

Hugs & love to all my tri peeps!
Siren

Funny Cycling Jerseys

2010-11-02T18:22:00.000-05:00

Found out about these from a cyclist friend on Facebook and couldn't resist sharing them here. The only question for me is which one to get!

You can find these and more at ShareTheDamnRoad.com.

Big Boy Bike

2010-09-19T16:26:00.001-05:00

Bear outgrew the little garage sale bike a friend got us as a joke for our baby shower. In fact, he was too tall for it before he could really even ride it. Guess it shouldn't be too much of a surprise, given that he's taller than one of the 4 year olds at our park he sometimes plays with.

We moved the seat on his trike all the way back, but he's all scrunched up and has lost interest because it's not fun to ride that way.

With his 3rd birthday fast approaching, we decided it makes sense to get him a Big Boy Bike. I immediately geeked out about it and took him last week to get sized. Sure enough, at 33 months old he already needed to move up to the 16" option.

I was so excited about the whole thing, thinking we'd have our pick of great bikes for him (I saved all summer to set aside $150, which to me, seems like a HUGE sum to spend on a bike for a 2-3 year old.) I thought I'd be able to walk into anyplace that sold bikes and look at options from reputable brands like Schwinn, Giant and Trek.

Turns out, unless you look really, REALLY hard... your options are Transformers, Spider-man and Cars.

And contrary to the box office take for the movies that spawned these overpriced preschooler marketing ploys, the reviews for these licensed character bikes are pretty wretched. I don't want to drop $90 on a bike that multiple parents reported have pedals that fall off on the first ride.

We started looking off the beaten path and did find a few options that fit my original fantasy. Problem being, the prices on those START at $180 and approach $300.

So my choice for Bear's special 3rd birthday Big Boy Bike appears to be a crappy bike I can afford, or a good bike I kind of can't. And I think that totally sucks.

That said, I'd rather scrape together a little more money to get a higher quality bike that will probably last him all the way through the 7" inches of seat post play that I know at least one of the good bikes has.

These are the the main choices we're considering. Wide open to suggestions from anyone with experience in this area.

Diamondback RM 16

Giant Animator

Schwinn Gremlin

Trek Jet 16

Doing the Right Thing

2010-08-28T11:23:00.000-05:00

Made the difficult decision to take a pass on the women's tri in Indianapolis I wanted to do this weekend.

Even though business has picked up on the front end, clients are painfully slow to pay their invoices on the back end. Things are predictably tight because of this. So between the tri this weekend and the trip to Minnesota next weekend so Grandma Clara - who's rapidly going blind - can see her only great grand Bear... where to spend what little travel money we could scrape together was a no brainer.

I feel good knowing that the workouts I've been able to sneak in recently told me I would have been able to finish the race strong and happy, with little or no shoulder discomfort.

And because I can haz mad copy skilz... and a personal trainer peep whose growing business was in dire need of a website rebuild... I can haz personal training that started yesterday! Because friends don't let friends get fat and lazy / have suboptimal internet marketing.

I'd casually "worked out" with my trainer friend in a side by side treadmill chat kind of way. But oh. em. gee. Are you ever in for a fantabulous feel the burn sweaty hour if you're her client!

This has given me a whole 'nother reason to look forward to Fridays.

(If you're in the northwest Chicago burbs and in need of a trainer, check her out. Plz note: as of link time, this was the outdated site I had nothing to do with. Upgraded awesomeness to launch in a few weeks.)

Three Times the Awesome

2010-08-11T14:05:00.005-05:00

July 26, 2010 Chrissie Wellington Event

I went to the Chrissie Wellington event sponsored by Runners High n Tri in Arlington Heights.

It was awesome.

Meeps and me happened to be next in line, so we snuck a quick photo in front of the official backdrop when Chrissie took a restroom break.

Oh Happy Day

2010-08-04T17:20:00.003-05:00

Not much to report in tri doings for me, other than a lovely open water swim two weekends ago, a very nice brick last weekend and a kick ass Q&A event last Monday night I went to with Meeps where we got to meet Chrissie Wellington.

Yeah, THAT Chrissie Wellington : D

(yeah, I know, no photos, it didn't happen. Hard copy in hand, still working on getting e-copy from the event folks)

Anyways...

Like I said. In lieu of anything real to report in my tri world, thought I'd do a virtual happy dance on another topic near and dear to my family's heart...

Prop 8 Ruling

Farewell, Proposition 8. You won't be missed.

Fancy embed courtesy of award winning blogger Joe. My. God.

Formula for Success

2010-07-14T20:01:00.002-05:00

(Wonderful Husband + Bear + Park)

+ (((Me + Kona + 2 mile run) / 85 degrees ) X (Running 1.25 mile w/out stopping))

+(Nice kick left in me at mile 1.25 to show off for folks at park)!*

- (Kona chasing geese)

- (Kona barking at kids)

- (Kona forcing my pace)

+ (Kona on best public behavior of his life)

+ (brief visit at Bear's park)

= AWESOME

*Why yes, that IS a factorial! Little shout out to my geeky peeps : )

Sporty Yet Orthopedic

2010-07-01T11:46:00.003-05:00

Realized we're leaving on yet another vacation that I don't have adequate footwear for, and ended up spending almost 5 hours yesterday dragging poor Bear around trying to find a decent pair of sport sandals.

I heart my Birks, but leather plus hot sweaty walking all day = bad stinky shoes. And my Chacos rock, but I feel their walking limits on the 2 mile jaunt to Bear's park and back.

Read great things about Merrill and Eco sandals, but of course could not find anywhere with them in stock. Not even the uber awesome REI, which is pretty much always worth the 3 hour round trip. Went there just to try on the Keen Whispers, but it turns out they run more narrow than most Keen sandals and didn't work out. Tried on the Keen Venice H2 sandals to compare, but they were so chunky and ugly I couldn't do it. Plus, their generous width was still not enough for my hobbit feet.

Tried on the Teva Tirra sandals on a whim (i.e. last resort). Pleasantly surprised that they were wide enough and seem to have enough arch support. They seem to have a dual personality - the ankle strap says "I'm a rugged sport sandal" and the bottom half says "I'm an orthopedic nightmare trying to be cute."

Wore them on errands today and am happy so far. Now I'm not dreading the all day walk around at St. Louis Zoo this weekend.

Her Sun Set Too Soon

2010-06-21T14:50:00.003-05:00

I just found out about what happened to Wendy Buckner.

Because we lived in different countries, I only got to hang out with her once in person. But I was immediately drawn to her, and I enjoyed every moment in her wise and witty presence. We've stayed in touch the last few years, and the news of her passing hit me hard enough to stop everything and have a good cry.

Godspeed, Wendy. I hope that red Prada purse is waiting for you in Heaven.

Wendy at the 2007 IMWI Tri Blogger meet up.

Bulletish Points

2010-06-21T08:31:00.004-05:00

Life is hectic, still buried under those two big website projects with no end in sight. But the clients are happy with the work I'm sending in, so it's all good.

Squeezed in an afternoon at the lake on Saturday with Bear. And my BFF and her toddler (Bear's favorite human being on the planet, whom he asks for daily.) And another awesome friend and her 1 yo and 3 yo. And my sistah Dag and our godson the unbelievably Adorable Quiet Child.

I think the kids had almost as much fun as I did.

Had a GREAT time. Discovered that A) SPF 70 rocks and B) there are bits on my back I can't reach with SPF 70.

Which brings me to C) Lidocaine aloe gel rocks. Someday I'll be able to put on a bra and lean back against a chair again.

Oh, and a quick jaunt out to the middle of the (tiny) lake proved I've been doing the right thing by my shoulder by *not* swimming. Not that my pool is open - now they're hoping for repairs to be done by July.

Not sure if I already mentioned... Bear's EEG was clear. So, officially no seizures. Which means the explanation for his little "spells" are probably self-imposed time outs by a sensory overloaded brain.

Shoulder still a problem, already hurting again just a few weeks after cortisone shot. Didn't race in Naperville on the 13th, but did go volunteer and had a BLAST.
Apparently when you know what's going on, organize your station and answer all the athlete's questions they give you a walkie talkie and put you in charge. Made it worth getting up at 4.

And the total bonus was I got to see MommyMeepa obliterate her PR by 30 minutes! She so totally rocked that race, I can't wait to hear how she does at her first Oly next month!

We Oughta Be a Case Study or Somethin

2010-05-11T13:16:00.005-05:00

First off, in case I haven't said it loud enough for y'all to hear through the window, BIRKENSTOCKS SO TOTALLY CURED MY PLANTAR FASCIITIS!

Kay. On to new business.

Saw the good neurologist Friday. The one we waited for 6 months to get in with. Worth every minute of that wait. LOVE this man. First time we've had an appointment where I felt like the doctor was truly intent on evaluating and diagnosing the problems with my precious Bear.

And boy, oh boy was there some diagnosing going on.

In a nutshell:
1) Sensory Processing Disorder - the one we already knew about, and what brought us to him in the first place

2) Speech and Language Processing Disorder - not exactly a surprise, but still disappointing to hear (but on the bright side, probably improves his chances of getting continued therapy through school district once he ages out of EI)

3) Possibly: Autism... wait and see. There are enough red flags to prevent him from ruling it out altogether (unlike the previous neurologist, who laughed it off). But, he's far from a clear cut case. His social development is delayed and we are under orders to watch it closely. In time, if he catches up socially we're in the clear. If not, doctor will revisit possibility of autism.

4) Possibly: ADHD... wait and see. Too young to rule in or out, and could just be the sensory seeking behaviors that are often dead ringers for ADHD. Doctor and I agree medication is not appropriate for him. Doc said when he's school age, if he really, truly can't function, we can consider meds as a last resort. So, back burner on this one.

5) Possibly: Non Epileptic Seizure Disorder - Bear has little spacey, unresponsive spells. I thought they were infrequent, but now it sounds like I just don't see them as often because he's more independent (i.e. playing in next room) or with another adult. After talking with all his therapists, every single one told me it's something they've noticed and been wanting to discuss with me. But, might not be seizures - because of his sensory disorder, it could be his brain putting him in a self-imposed time out due to sensory overload. EEG scheduled for early June to learn more.

Oh, and he's getting the surgery to put tubes in his ears next Monday.

Aaaaand... oh yeah! Today, my endo declared recent blood test results "Excellent!" My inner overachiever is hoping he puts a gold star on my chart.

With all this, I somehow managed to squeeze in an appointment for my chronically owie shoulder. Doc gave me 3 choices:

1) Ice & ibuprofen & time (because that's worked so well thus far!)
2) PT
3) Cortisone shot

I'd kill for the time (& room in my budget) for more sessions with my awesome PT. But that's just not gonna happen right now. So, I opted for the cortisone shot.

Bear was with me, making things interesting.

I can now say I've taken a 4 inch needle in my right shoulder while wrangling a Bear with my left arm. I is a Mommy ROCK STAR.

My doc (marathon guy) half jokingly suggested I could still do the tri in 3 weeks if I floated on my back and didn't use my right arm to swim. I don't think he'd bat an eye if I actually DID try that. But it doesn't feel like the right thing to do, seeing as how my shoulder's been painful enough to wake me up at night and I'm resorting to giant needles because that's somehow the easy way out. There's still the race in August - that's feels like plenty of time for my shoulder to recover.

And now... I'm off to do Bear's pre-surgical hospital check in call. Good times.

(Oh, and that whole Mean Mr. Meaniehead Husband suggesting my bike speeds weren't legit thing? I. WIN.)

Road ID Coupon Codes

2010-05-04T08:52:00.002-05:00

Hi guys!

Wanted to pass along a couple of coupon codes for RoadID.com, in case you're thinking about ordering one soon. I just ordered one for Bear, and am thinking about getting another one to keep on my transition bag.

This code was posted on RoadID's facebook page as a mother's day special - it's good for 15% off through Wednesday 5/5: pcMOM589

This code was sent to me personally after my latest order. They said it's good for $1 off, for up to 20 uses in the next 30 days (expires circa 5/29). I think 2 people have used it so far: ThanksMichelle744186

They've also posted about an outreach effort they're doing to spread awareness of RoadID to first responders (EMTs, police, etc). Because it doesn't do any good to wear them if the emergency personnel responding doesn't know to look for it!

So, please pass the word about RoadID to any first responders in your social circle - it could save somebody's life!

Aero what now?

2010-05-03T13:51:00.003-05:00

Actually made it on my scheduled 10 mile bike ride yesterday. All the necessary factors were in place...

- Glorious spring day? CHECK!
- Stiff head wind? CHECK!
- Packed recreation trail? CHECK!

There are these funky bar thingies that stick out on the front of my bike. Aerowhatsis or something?

Wait, it's coming back to me.... aerobars! I can has them.

And I can kinda sorta even use them without falling over! And look just a leetle bit cool passing the family walking behind their toddler's trike!

I did forgot that I still needed to reset my cadence computer. Remembered to start it when I started, but I got cocky and tried to start and stop it manually at the busy intersections and accidentally wiped out my workout halfway in.

About halfway in I also started having trouble clipping on the left. About the time I realized I'd wiped the workout off the computer I glanced down and noticed I could see my cleat.

Hanging off the side of my foot.

Which would certainly splain the clipping issues.

I felt all fancy digging my bike tool out of my bottle rocket carrier; managed to tighten it up enough to limp home.

Bonus - lots of unplanned one leg drills!

Both my cleat thingies are bent and I'm missing most of the screws. Could get new screws, but the bent thing has me concerned. Not thrilled I need to spend money on replacements. But feeling kind of cool that I need to replace my cleats even though I can safely say I haven't but 5000 miles on them.

In general my biking is surprising the heck out of me. I'm averaging several MPH faster than I used to and feel like I've got more miles in me than before. Think I might set a personal goal of making it up to a 35 mile bike ride this summer - ashamed to admit I've never ridden more than 26 miles.

In other news... Bear's getting tubes in his ears in 2 weeks. Hopefully this is the start of a fever & antibiotic free life for him!

***UPDATE***

Mean Mr. Meaniehead (FKA Wonderful Husband) just pointed out my awesomely fast bike times might have something to do with the recently improperly reset bike computer.

To quote Mythbuster Adam: I reject your reality, and substitute my own.

Meanwhile... *heads upstairs to find bike computer manual*

Feel the Rain on Your Skin

2010-04-25T17:23:00.003-05:00

Today was one of those days where we tried to do a normal family thing with Bear, and it was harder than it should have been and we muddled through and everything was fine. But then we got home and I have an emotional meltdown because of the hardness, and how I hate having to choose between isolating my Bear from all the things he should be doing at his age and the immense struggle it is to actually do those things.

So we got home and it was raining and I was so physically and emotionally tired from the simple act of trying to sit through a movie with my Bear that I wanted to throw my bike out the window and cry. Because if I'm exhausted by lunch and a movie with a 2 year old, where on earth will I find the stamina to race again?

My bike handling skills are pathetic, so even if I'd been thrilled about a bike ride in the midst of my pity party, it just isn't safe for me to ride in the rain.

And I didn't want to wake the Bear up from his nap with the treadmill. So I did something I still can't believe I did.

I got my ass off the couch. And I got out my Otterbox. And I went for a run in the 49 degree rain.

I stepped off the front porch and I started running. I didn't stop until I made it an entire mile. The last 50 yards were rough. But by then I was so close nothing could stop me. Not even the neurotic voices in my head. Especially not them.

I clocked my best mile ever by two whole seconds - 12:26.

I played my girl power playlist at a deafening volume and it was what I needed when I needed it. I choked back tears and I pretended I wasn't getting a stitch in my side and I just kept running.

I ran until I couldn't feel the rain or the cold. I ran until I didn't need to cry any more. And after a little walk break, I ran some more just to prove I could. Because you never know what you're going to get on race day. And a triathlete trains in any weather. And damnit, I have going to start behaving like a triathlete again.

Today it was harder than it had to be. But for me, today, I think that's what it had to be.

Any Dream Will Do

2010-04-24T08:30:00.004-05:00

Been having those dreams.

You know, the ones where you have a race, BUT...

- you forgot your bike
- you forgot your transition bag
- you can't find your bike
- it started without you
- you can't find transition
- you can't swim
- you can't find the finish
- you forgot your shoes
- *insert current race fear here*

In the latest one, my swimsuit was on backwards and I was trying to take it off and fix it underwater before the start. Literally naked and defenseless in the face of the swim.

Don't think I need a fancy coated Canaanite to tell me that one means I'm worried about my swim, given current state of my shoulder and lack of gym pool.

Rusty

2010-04-18T16:25:00.003-05:00

Planned a 7 mile bike ride for yesterday, but there were 30 mph winds. There are two schools of thought on this.

1) I need to train in every weather so I am prepared to race in every weather.
2) I haven't been on Donna in almost a year, how about I cut myself some slack the first time out.

I postponed to ride in today's milder forecasted winds.

Got Donna ~~out of storage~~ off the trainer.

Her tires were comically flat. I dealt with that, pinching my finger in the process.

Her chain looked sad, so I lubed her - and my hands - up.

Her computer battery was dead. I (miraculously!) found a spare, and promptly realized I couldn't remember how to reset from scratch. I randomly pushed buttons until stuff I recognized came on the screen (I still need to find manual and figure out how to set my tire size so it tracks properly.)

I walked her out to the street, took a deep breath, hoped I would manage to clip in before I fell over, started to mount and... realized I was still in my sandals.

About a mile into the ride I caught a brief respite from the unrelenting, always-a-headwind-no matter-which-direction, 11-mph-my-ass-wind and decided to try out my legs in the big ring.

At which point I thought I'd either broken something or forgotten how to shift. But a quick peek told me that I was already in the big ring.

1st thought) I am such a moron.
2nd thought) Go me and all those carrying Bear up the stairs leg muscles!

Bright side... my raging case of Post Pregnancy Shoes Don't Fit turned out to be a good thing for my stupidly expensive special order wide width bike shoes that took me two years to find. Before now they were a size too big because that was as small as they came in wide. Now they fit perfectly, and I feel like my pedaling is much more efficient now that my feet aren't slipping around in the shoes.

I still don't know if my shoulder - and current lack of definitive swimming pool option - will allow me to race in 7 weeks. I may have to go with volunteering in June and racing in August. I'm taking it one workout at a time.

Finding Things to Laugh About

2010-04-17T23:15:00.004-05:00

Decided to use an hour of my precious 3 hour Thursday morning daycare to sneak in a swim before scooting back to work.

Arrived at gym to learn it's closed indefinitely for major repairs. Best case, will reopen mid May. Which probably means mid June.

Which certainly throws a kink in my June 13th triathlon. That's in less than 8 weeks. That I'm completely unprepared for, in terms of the swim.

Only consolation is I won't get billed by the gym for the time the pool's closed, since I'm a swim-only member.

Found out the rec center for that town is offering some sort of deal to folks who need to swim. Not ideal, but I'll take it. Cause I don't have a choice.

Not that my shoulder is remotely on board with the swim thing. But I'm trying to proceed like I'm actually racing in 7 weeks.

So. At least there are still things like this I can laugh about.

Signs

2010-04-11T11:06:00.003-05:00

Birds are singing, flowers are blooming... and I've got sore bike butt. It MUST be spring!

Square 2

2010-04-06T19:48:00.002-05:00

Went for a quick wog around the block with Bear, then pulled bike off the ceiling and did a quick loop around the neighborhood just to remind myself how.

Wog - .7 mile
Bike - 1 mile

Um. Yeah. My legs feel as shaky as if I'd just pulled a 5k/20k brick.

Not completely back to square 1, but about as close as I can be without erasing the last 5 years of my life.

Certainly have my work cut out for me, 'cause that June sprint is looking awfully scary right about now.

Next step... 5 mile bike with one of my girls this weekend.

Musical Ouch

2010-03-26T18:16:00.001-05:00

It recently dawned on me that all those long term ouches I've been struggling with are slowly but surely fading away.

When I first started out it was the terribly painful calf problem. Took lots of crazy painful sports massage therapy to sort it out, and I still have to be hypervigilant about them.

2 years ago it was tendinitis in the left wrist... PT resolved that, but babying the left wrist caused it to flare up in the right wrist.

Couldn't get treatment for that - insurance was maxed out. So I spent a whole year without full use of my right hand because of the intense pain in my wrist.

Then, of course, was everybody's favorite game show, Fun With Plantar Fasciitis. That started 2 years ago, shortly after Bear was born and I tried to get back into running too soon, and with the wrong kind of shoes.

It's kind of like I spent the last 3 years with someone secretly playing music chairs with my aches and pains... the music stops and they move to another body part. But until now, it appeared somebody had forgotten the bit about taking chairs away.

So imagine my utter surprise and delight yesterday when I realized that - after my run workout 2 weeks ago... and my rollerblading last week.... and my trampoline jumping this week... NO. PAIN.

Just been so darn busy I didn't have time to notice the pain wasn't slowing me down any more.

I'm not limping to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I can put bra on without cringing. I can wear cute shoes again. Even the funky thing trampoline jumping does to your calves hasn't been a problem.

Of course, it wouldn't be Musical Ouch without new pains.

Well, a new old pain. The shoulder I messed up 3 years ago - the one I was in PT for when I found out I was pregnant with Bear - it's giving me a helluva time lately.

Doc told me then it was impingement syndrome. It had been fussy on and off lately, then I picked up Bear a couple of weeks ago and felt it kinda... go. Now it's mad all the time. Makes it hard to sleep, get dressed...

But at least it's currently the last musical chair standing. Not gonna lie - had so much chronic pain the last 3 years I was starting to think my tri days were over. But now I've got renewed hope and 2 races in my sights for 2010.

I'm hoping to get in with my doc soon. I want see if he can shut off the music on this shoulder problem so I can enjoy my first pain free season in years.

Bear's jump therapy is a blast for both of us!

Getting to Know You

2010-03-18T11:54:00.004-05:00

That is so totally the song that was stuck in my head just now.

My brain was singing it to my hip flexors almost immediately after embarking on what I'm pretty sure was my first solo inline skating mile EV. AH.

Back in school, I only ever went with my roomie. And now I've only gone the one time, sticking close to home, supervised by WH. Going by myself was, frankly, totally scary.

And I totally set up a safe call with my BFF. And then sent up a shout out to the FSM requesting that if I DID happen to totally wipe out, could it please not crush the phone I brought with to call for help in case I totally wiped out?

It was tough. It was mostly into a stiff breeze. And most of it hurt my legs in fascinating new places. Some of it hurt enough to make me want to quit.

But I sucked it up and I went twice as far as my original goal! (OK, going around my supersized block isn't the biggest goal there ever was, but still! I doubled it!)

Way too warm today for my cool weather tights, but I wore them because road rash isn't my color. It's gonna be a long time before I feel confident enough on wheels to wear shorts.

But holy cow does this use different muscles than running - if I manage to cross train with skates and the dreadmill, my legs are gonna look HOT!

Bruised for Bear

2010-03-10T09:49:00.005-06:00

My little gymnast's new trick is to flip over the back of furniture.

He thinks it's hilarious. Me thinks he's going to break his cute little neck.

Few days ago he was bouncing on the couch (because the two trampolines he has for this purpose are apparently not good enough) and from across the room I could actually see the thought bubble forming over his head...

He was SO. GOING. to flip over the back of the couch.

Until now it's been chairs on carpet, when he gets out of our sight and we can't stop him - thankfully the soft landings haven't hurt him. But the couch backs up to the kitchen's hardwood floor.

I dove across the couch and grabbed his foot just as he started to go for it. Managed to catch him, but my leg slammed against the frame of the couch and I got this for my efforts...

The bruise is about 8 inches wide and 4 inches high. Whole left thigh is still a bit stiff and sore, but after a few days of healing I managed to get in a 20 minute run and a tentative 10 minutes on my shiny new rollerblades.

He's really starting to get good at pedaling his bike. Next post like this I'll probably be in a body cast from diving in front of a bus...

27 Months

2010-03-03T07:51:00.005-06:00

My little Bear is 27 months old. And he finally, FINALLY, started calling me Mama.

It's not that he didn't pronounce the syllables before, but they were always nonsense sounds, buried in a string of other nonsense sounds. Usually when he was angry, or hurt or tired.

That it took so for this simple thing that so many take for granted drives home for me that I really do have a special needs child. But I cling to the fact that his needs are manageable, and if I do my job his challenges can be mitigated.

Finally hearing my baby call me Mama makes everything else - the special concessions for his neurological triggers, the 4 times a week therapy appointments, the fears about the problems he could encounter at school, the daily struggle to fill the bottomless pit of his therapeutic needs - EVERYTHING. Just a little bit easier.

Now, when I come home, the first thing I hear when I open the door is his precious little voice yelling "MAMA!!! YAAAAY!!"

That's worth everything.

The Best High Ever

2010-02-26T10:40:00.002-06:00

Saw endocrinologist this week. He listened carefully to my progress and decided to bump my T3 supplement again. Just a little. Cause I was doing ok on the newest dose, but still not great.

Can I just say... OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG?!?!?!

Is this really what people feel like every day? With all the awake and happy and generally not wanting to lie down and die? SERIOUSLY?! THIS is what I've been missing for almost 20 years?!?!?!

Holy fuck.

Maybe it's just the placebo effect. But I'm thinkin' I finally found a doctor who knows what the hell he's doing.

And now... I'm gonna brave a possible windy day SPD Bear meltdown and take my little man outside to build a snowman.

Break's Over

2010-02-22T07:32:00.004-06:00

After a weekend of choosing salad over fast food, a great hour in the pool and generally feeling good about the direction I've been going... I got on the scale this morning and found my weight up 4 pounds since Friday.

That's up 13 pounds in 12 weeks.

I swear to gawd I'm not sitting around eating all day. But with results like that, I might as well be. Stupid thyroid. Stupid metabolic shifts in late 30s. Stupid pants that don't fit.

I see the endocrinologist next week. But just like with the whole 150 I gained in the first place, I know this 13 isn't going to fall off even if we do get my meds back on track.

*sigh*

It was a nice break from the drudgery of The Calorie Nazi. One I needed, to sort out my new life with the therapy schedule of a special needs child and a parent suddenly living in Stroke Any Minute Land. But he's back now.

Ugh.

Shiny New Cardio Option

2010-02-20T09:08:00.004-06:00

We had a little bit of breathing room with the tax money, so last night Wonderful Husband treated me to a shiny new piece of cardio equipment...

2009 K2 Athena

I wanted something to to let me "run" with Bear once he starts going on bike rides this spring without the risk of more running injuries. I'm so prone to getting hurt these days I'm trying to come up with every possible way to have fun and still sneak in a low impact workout. I'm especially excited about blading with the jogging stroller. I know it's not a replacement for real run workouts, but I think it's a good way to sneak in some extra cardio when I'm supposed to be doing stuff for my Bear.

I haven't been on rollerblades in at least 15 years, but I was pleased to discover I hadn't lost all my (limited!) skills. I still need loads of practice before I can safely take Kona out with them, but I surprised myself with how well I did testing them at the store.

And they're called Athena! It's like it was meant to be.

Milestones

2010-02-17T20:51:00.003-06:00

During this morning's shower Bear brought a stepstool into the bathroom, climbed onto the sink, got into the cabinet, opened a childproof cap and took some of my thyroid meds. So, today was our first (and hopefully ONLY) call to Poison Control. Thankfully my thyroid meds were almost empty, aren't very dangerous and he only took 2. No ill effects.

Apparently nothing short of Fort Knox is "out of reach" enough for Bear. We've got the really scary prescriptions stored somewhere else up high but we're rethinking that. He's started using bigger chairs and climbing shelves to reach really high places - yesterday he presented me with the finger paints I keep stored in a bin above MY head.

Just now Bear saw me drop a bottle of ice cold water all over my feet and the kitchen floor. Then he repeated what I said. Which means Bear has officially dropped his first F-bomb.

Not the most prestigious day, but milestones nonetheless. : D

At Least It's on the Trainer

2010-02-16T08:18:00.002-06:00

Apparently my little mechanic noticed I've been neglecting maintenance on my racing bike - just caught him applying chapstick as chain lube.

And in a rare convergence of winter germ-freeness, we're both healthy today. So as a reward for sitting through my tax appointment at the accountant's this morning I'm taking him to the gym for a swim. I dare anyone to say mixing Bear with water doesn't count as a workout!

Moving Right Along

2010-02-14T14:46:00.002-06:00

Managed to work out twice last week. TWICE! In ONE WEEK!

That's, like, CRAZY.

The second time I actually did the thing people always say they'll do but mostly never actually do - I had 27 minutes to spare and my options were squeeze in some work or some blog reading or some housework or a workout. I chose the 27 minute workout! Go me!

I've got the 'registration is open' notice for that June tri in my in-box.

At least gonna wait until payday to pull the trigger. But after finding time to work out twice in a pretty darn hectic week I'm feeling good about my decision to be a little selfish and give myself some tri time this year.

Another One for Saint Bombeck

2010-02-11T10:55:00.002-06:00

I should have known Bear was going to make the day interesting. When I wouldn't pop cheerfully out of bed at ridiculous o'clock, he passed the time between notifying me he was awake and me actually getting up by crawling into my bed and emptying an entire container of dental floss.

I found myself hoping it was a full container, because that would buy me a few extra seconds in bed.

I wanted to sneak in a quick shower before his OT arrived. As I was getting into the shower I saw him trot by carring a $40 tube of skin cream. With the cap off. I yelled to him that it wasn't food and moved on.

He popped his head in once to register his displeasure, but other than a random scream (that I've come to learn means "how dare the dog eat my cracker after I spent the last 5 minutes waving it in his face") the shower was uneventful. Quiet, even.

So. I open the shower curtain. To find Bear clinging to the edge of my bathroom sink with his feet on a stepstool. A stepstool that's hanging off the edge of another stepstool at a ridiculous angle. The whole mess is on a rug, which is slowly sliding away from the sink. He's got his daddy's toothbrush in his mouth.

I grabbed a towel and calmly asked if he needed help. He nodded solemnly, daddy's toothbrush bobbing up and down. I rescued him, noting the open bottle of Aveeno lotion he'd apparently been using as toothpaste. He grinned and moved onto the next item on his agenda.

Which, as far as I could tell, involved drinking the contents of the dog bowl one toothbrushful at a time.

While I was getting dressed he took a break from his 'toothbrush as beverage delivery device' experiment to see if he could get the dog to drink from the toothbrush. I suppose it makes sense - the water was from her bowl. She didn't see it that way.

As I headed downstairs to do my thrice-weekly panicked pre-therapist arrival cleanup he was sitting inside my bathroom cabinet, methodically removing the contents and lining them up on the floor.

After he ran out of lotions to arrange, he came downstairs, brought his stepstool over to the bananas strategically stored out of his reach and stole one. He was so proud of himself he forgot he wasn't supposed to be stealing bananas, brought it over triumphantly and dropped the peel onto my keyboard.

Where Things Are At

2010-02-07T10:15:00.005-06:00

Seems the universe is determined to derail any semblance of motivation, resolve or progress I'm trying to make.

Bear's been on abx again for his 4th ear infection since November.

Mom's in the hospital again with 4th mini stroke in a month. They found a blockage in her basal artery and a 75% blockage in her vertebral artery. In hospital since Wednesday. On coumadin IV, might get to go home by today (or tomorrow or next day).

Scheduled time to hit gym last Thursday, but getting only 3 hours of sleep from the situation with Mom made me spend entire day with migraine instead.

Scheduled time to hit gym Friday, but MIL was sick and would only take Bear long enough for me to get groceries.

Planned to hit gym today, but Wonderful Husband came down sick and won't be taking Bear to that Superbowl Party and I won't get the time to myself after all.

My shoulder is acting up, probably from all the big active heavy Bear lifting wrestley spinny stuff that's part of daily Bear therapy. Learned enough from last experience I'm pretty sure I've got bursitis from impingement again. Almost hoping they can just give me another cortisone shot to deal with it, don't have time or money for anything else, and the idea they'll just tell me to rest it is comical.

Not pregnant after 6 months of trying. My midwife is impressed I've managed to maintain a 50 lb weight loss even with gaining 10 back with the recent meds disaster. She suggested if I can lose maybe 15-20 more it will probably kick my body back into gear so I can have another baby.

Increased dose of the new thyroid meds has helped, but I'm still living with levels of exhaustion that I refuse to believe are typical for a normal person. Follow-up bloodwork soon will probably say my levels are within normal limits because that's how it always seems to go. Trying to figure out how to function when I'm so tired all I want to do is sleep and cry.

Mom's telling me not to come visit, but when I was down 3 weeks ago she asked me to help put her will together. Need to get it done asap - if she has a bigger stroke and loses any cognitive function we'd be up a creek. We want to make sure my (half) brother and SIL - who are shouldering 99.9% of the burden of The Insanity of Mom - get fair treatment in the will because on paper they're not technically related (especially now that Mom's divorced from my half-brother's dad) and if things went into probate they would get nothing. NOT cool. Plus, I'm her financial POA and have no idea where anything is and need to get stuff figured out just in case. I don't think I'm overreacting - Mom's even been telling me her burial wishes just to be safe. So I'm packing up later this week for another trip downstate to crazy town.

In spite of all this... I'm still determined to race this summer. Between Bear therapy and the new developments with my Mom it's not reasonable for me to continue with plans for my Oly. I simply can't devote the time. But I firmly believe I can get back enough fitness to do my favorite sprint in June. Some of my girls have also said they'd like to come along for the ride.

So. New paradigm. More stress. Less sanity. Still devoted to following a path of health and fitness. The road's just a little rockier now.

Calling it Progress

2010-01-27T22:16:00.003-06:00

Seeing my mom not taking care of herself is motivating me to get back to taking care of myself.

Seeing my weight shoot up almost 10 pounds since November is motivating me to keep close contact with endocrinologist so we can iron out the new meds and stop this insanity.

Seeing that it's been 2 solid years of unrelenting plantar fasciitis pain is motivating me to take a hard look at my eating habits again. Because after 6 months of being essentially sedentary and the pain still not resolving, I'm convinced it's not gonna get better unless I can take off another serious chunk of weight.

I'm finding lots of motivation, which I had lost.

Now I've got to dig even deeper and find my resolve again. I don't know when or where I lost it. I just know I looked up one day and it was gone.

Maybe I should check under the couch. That's where we always find the matchbox cars.

You Might Be a Redneck

2010-01-20T07:52:00.002-06:00

Mom got us great little LED flashlights for Christmas.

So far, my brother has used his to gut a couple of deer and last night I used mine to check for damage and residual guts. 'Cause a ginormous raccoon committed suicide under my van.

Scary as hell. Ran right into us, no chance to spare him without us getting hurt, he hit my van three times.

But on the bright side, my alignment improved and the missing backlight on my car clock came back on.

In other news...

Whole reason I'm down here in redneck land is that my mom went and had herself a little stroke over the weekend. We'd come down to finally have our family's Christmas and it happened sitting around the table chatting after dinner. Thankfully we actually saw it happen and called 911 instantly.

Had she been home alone watching TV like a normal Saturday night, she'd have most likely just laid down and possibly died. Know how I know? Turns out she's had an "episode" before AND NOT FUCKING TOLD ANYONE. Just went to bed. This time was much worse than the other one, though. She was confused and arguing about stuff like what her doctor's name was, so - in addition to her general attitude of "I'll just go lay down until I feel better" - she probably would not have been thinking clearly enough to call for help.

She recovered miraculously well. The technical term for what happened is a TIA, but it really happened for the fantastically brilliantly fucking reasonable cause of Not Taking Her Medication.

Subclassification: Because I Don't Want To.

So I'm down here in redneck land to drive her to some of the follow up tests. Because there's every chance she wouldn't do them.

Know how I know?

Cause she had another "episode" Monday night. But I'm not supposed to know, because she's keeping it from me. She told Dad (her ex husband) the next morning, and she thought I was sleeping and she's a little hard of hearing and I heard every word she said. He called me to let me know because he suspected she wasn't going to tell me and wanted me to make sure someone told her doctor.

Ugh.

So I'm doing what I can - I drove her to her carotid doppler yesterday and took her over to my lawyer friend's place to sign powers of attorney. Now it's time to throw on some clothes and take her to the MRI/MRA.

Then I have to figure out how to gracefully navigate 250 miles of Illinois interstate through an ice storm to get home. Because I miss my Bear so much it hurts and it was hard enough to make arrangements for his care for just 3 days. I need to get back to him.

We don't have anyone scheduled to stay with Mom tonight, but at this point my attitude is that if she's not going to tell the person staying with her in case she has another attack that she's having an attack then WTF are we staying for?

Today

2010-01-13T15:54:00.004-06:00

Today, I:

1) Made a fruit & yogurt protein powder smoothie.

2) Had a semi-emergency appointment with my endocrinologist.

3) Went to the gym for a swim.

Today, I learned that:

1) My ancient cheapie blender has a workload limit, and burning motor smell is not pleasant with lunch.

2) When your doctor takes one look at you and gives you a big hug, it means you're not crazy and the meds really aren't working.

3) I vastly overestimated my residual fitness and can no longer knock out half a mile in the pool. I squeezed out a quarter mile. In 3 intervals. (But at least my pull felt strong and my laps were much faster than I expected them to be.)

Today, I'm excited that:

1) I get to shop for a new blender!

2) My doc gave me new meds!

3) I went to the GYM! And now I'm going to a dinner networking meeting! With grown ups who wear real clothes and talk in sentences and everything!

Taking Stock

2010-01-03T10:55:00.002-06:00

I've been sick going on 3 weeks.
I've also been so exhausted I've been sleeping when Bear naps, going to bed by 9 pm and sleeping up to 12 hours whenever Wonderful Husband is able to let me.
I've started gaining weight for no apparent reason.

It's pretty clear I need to call my endocrinologist and discuss the undesirable but unavoidable switch to a different thyroid med 3 weeks ago. I was dreading it, I knew it could be rocky and I was terrified I would gain weight while it happened. But my regular med is indefinitely unavailable, so I had no choice.

Aside from all that, I've been going through the mental garbage of accepting that it's actually been almost 3 YEARS since I found out I was pregnant with Bear. Which means it's been 3 YEARS stuck at the same weight. 3 YEARS since I lost my momentum.

Given the current state of my health, I may not be physically ready to remedy the situation, say, in the next week. But I'm as mentally ready as I'm ever going to be.

So I put in a call to my friend who happens to be a personal trainer. We're going to sit down together (as soon as I'm not contagious!) in a professional capacity and discuss how to get me back on track. She knows we're struggling to pay for Bear's therapy, so she's willing to work out a deal with me so I can afford her help.

The good thing is I'm not like her other clients who need her to stand over them 3 times a week to make the workouts happen. I just need the time saver of having an appropriate workout pre-planned for me, and the accountability of someone checking in to see how they went.

All Kinds of Awesome

2009-12-31T08:39:00.003-06:00

A few minutes ago Bear noticed I had juice. He came over and very nicely signed "drink." I told him yes, I would share it with him.

He waited quietly for a few seconds, then signed "more." I told him wait just a second and he could have some.

Then he smiled that killer smile and started signing "please" over and over.

OMG. I don't know what got me more - the crazy amounts of adorable, that he wasn't crying and grabbing at my glass or that he was correctly signing all those words without being prompted.

I love that my nearly nonverbal little Bear just talked me out of my juice.

Happiness Is

2009-12-30T08:11:00.003-06:00

... scheduling 2010 race meet-ups with tri peeps!

(It's what I needed after the last couple weeks of us all being sick. Again. Way too sick to travel to family, spent Christmas with kleenex and frozen pizza. Bleh.)

Now that Bear's therapy schedule and spring daycare schedule is set, I can start trying to figure out how to make training a regular part of my life again. Which will be next to impossible, since those two things = 5 mornings a week, and I'm home with Bear every afternoon. (At least the daycare morning is for me to work. Now I just have to figure out how to fit a whole week of work into one morning!)

But I'm determined to figure something out. Cause this whole no energy, sick all the time thing? I'm So. Over. It.

Merry Muppets

2009-12-15T10:49:00.003-06:00

Most Wonderful Time of the Year

2009-12-08T16:24:00.001-06:00

Don't you just love this time of year?

The twinkling lights... the glittering, snow covered scenery... the Kona broadcast....

Dec 19 at 4:30 eastern. Set your DVR!

Cosmic Balance

2009-12-08T08:18:00.003-06:00

I must have angered the Flying Spaghetti Monster, because...

- we have 10 inches of snow on the way
- my sprained back is still on the mend
- the snowblower is in the shop until next week

I know the doc said I could do gentle activity, but I'm thinking shoveling snow for 6 hours wasn't what he had in mind.

I think it's time to go knock on the neighbor's door and see if his teenager feels like earning 20 bucks to bring their snowblower over...

Little Ray of Sunshine

2009-12-05T08:57:00.002-06:00

Due to a fortuitous rescheduling of Bear therapy and the MIL actually keeping appointment to sit, I had an almost decadent block of time open up on Friday morning.

I got to ask myself the greatest question I've asked all year: swim or yoga?

Considering current back problem (doc says I sprained it and put me on relative rest/active recovery), floating by myself in my gym's overly warm swimming pool sounded divine.

But I really miss my yoga peeps. So that's where I went. And it was wonderful.

Speed Bump

2009-11-30T15:10:00.004-06:00

Today was the day I was going to get back on track.

I wasn't (completely) freaking out about the sudden, inexplicable 6 pound gain over Thanksgiving (OMG I didn't even have seconds and only ate ONE. PIECE. of pie. TOTAL. For the whole 4 day weekend. But I digress.)

I was calm and ready. I turned in my temporary License To Eat without batting an eye and started paying attention to my calorie intake again like it was second nature.

Today I was going to report for duty with The Calorie Nazi. Today I was going to organize my calendar to accommodate a workout later this week.

As a concession to the recently flaring up foot pain, I even got my bike all set up in the bedroom.

And then.... I did something to my back.

Not sure what, but what started out last week as a leeetle tweaky feeling in my low back has ballooned into an OMG I can't move owowowowowOWOWOWOW kind of thing.

Never experienced anything quite like this before.

Show of hands... how many people think this might have something to do with my complete lack of training and the fact my core muscles now have less structural integrity than last week's failed cranberry jelly?

It doesn't help I have a clingy toddler with a neurological dysfunction that partly manifests in a desperate desire to be carried all the time.

So, yeah. Got a doctor appointment tomorrow.

Shifting Mental Gears

2009-11-22T20:54:00.004-06:00

I've pretty much been stuck at the mental place I was back in 2004, before I started my journey to health and happiness through triathlon.

In that mental prison I'm still 270+ pounds. Huge. Sick. Miserable.

I've heard a lot about body dysmorphia, where people don't see what they really look like when they look in the mirror because their brain is stuck on an internal image. Mostly you hear about it with anorexics and such.

I think I had that a little bit, because no matter how much I lose and how many sizes I've dropped I still see that same enormous person in the mirror.

But when I saw this picture from Halloween, I got the shock of my life.

For the first time ever I saw - really, truly understood - that I've lost almost 60 pounds. That I have a waistline. That I'm down to a single chin. That, 5 years after squeezing into size 26 jeans in despair, I slipped on a size 16 Halloween costume and looked good. (In case you're wondering, I went as the Fashion Police.)

It blew me away.

Granted, I still need to lose another 80 or 90 pounds to be at a reasonable weight for my height. But seeing this picture made me feel what that means. It made me get in my gut how far I've come and how great it will be when I find the end of the path.

It was what I needed, when I needed it. Suddenly, getting back on speaking terms with The Calorie Nazi and finding my way back to a training schedule doesn't seem so crazy. It's going to be incredibly hard. And I'll probably be an emotional wreck. But it feels like the right thing to do again. And that's what I was missing.

Two

2009-11-19T08:43:00.003-06:00

Happy 2nd Birthday Baby Bear!

Still can't believe how fast you went from this...

to this!

Didn't Expect This

2009-11-17T17:26:00.006-06:00

I'm tired all the time.
I'm bitchy all the time.
I just spent 6 weeks sick.
I've started crying a lot.

When I was training regularly I felt great, was always in a good mood and almost never got sick.

I know I have to get back to it, but I find myself scared to death.

I don't have any time.
I don't have any energy.
I don't have any aerobic capacity.
I don't have any strength or flexibility.
My foot still hurts every. single. fucking. day. (It's been 18 months)

I feel like after all triathlon has done for me, I've failed it and don't deserve to come back. I'm scared of starting over from scratch. I'm scared of not being worthy all over again. I'm scared of sucking all over again.

After so many years and making so much progress, I never expected to feel like a terrified beginner again. And I don't know how to handle it.

Early Birthday Present

2009-11-05T09:45:00.003-06:00

After hearing the recommendations for Bear's sensory therapy, we decided to scrap the plans we'd made for his birthday gifts and get him a trampoline instead. I felt really bad about it, but we can't afford to do it all, and the trampoline is what he needs.

Dudes. I need not have felt one iota of guilt over this decision.

It arrived Sunday. He hasn't stopped bouncing since. As far as he's concerned, it's the best birthday present in the history of birthday presents. He doesn't know or care that it's supposed to be "therapy." He just knows it's full of awesome.

The only down side - aside from the conspicuously ginormous trampoline in my front room - is that it's a toddler model with a weight limit of 60 pounds, so I can't bounce with him. But that problem will be remedied by the birthday gift my mom is sending... a full size outdoor trampoline. Hopefully it will arrive in time for his actual birthday in 2 weeks. YAY!

Growing Up So Fast

2009-10-29T22:19:00.002-05:00

This was taken about a week ago, the day Baby Bear turned 23 ~~years~~ months old.

Small Victory

2009-10-23T17:03:00.003-05:00

I decided there's too much going on in my life. Even though I'm terrified of the potential for stupid emotional eating with no accountability, I need a little break from The Calorie Nazi.

I am currently alone in the house with a hormone surge, my emotional shitstorm and 20 bags of Halloween candy.

I just had a handful of diet rice cakes and a cup of herbal tea.

I think I get a gold star today.

Survey Says

2009-10-21T21:53:00.003-05:00

Four different evaluators from Early Intervention (not to mention the Pediatric Neurologist who mentioned the possibility in the first place) overwhelmingly agree that Baby Bear has a Sensory Integration Disorder.

It's a neurological disorder that impacts how they process sensory input and can - if not addressed with therapy - severely impact social and learning abilities. Basically, in the last two days I've spent about 5 hours with various specialists and have come out understanding that every single difficulty Bear is having is rooted in the sensory disorder. (Even the speech delay, which with this disorder is often caused by their inability to properly feel their mouth and tongue, so can't control it to speak.)

The only thing that probably has nothing to do with the disorder is the screaming nighttime freakouts, which the behavior specialist said are almost certainly night terrors. Bottom line: horrific for parents to witness, no big deal for the actually still sleeping toddlers who have no awareness or memory of them. Just a brain development thing with synapses firing all wonky. They grow out of it.

Starting next week we'll be starting therapy 3 times a week: one session of speech therapy, one session of occupational therapy (essentially 'sensory therapy') and one session with the extra special, we're lucky he took us on behavior specialist. After 3 months of that they're recommending we add a 4th session a week to get him into group OT.

Plus I have to start incorporating sensory and speech activities into, well, every waking moment.

And I thought I was having trouble getting to the gym now...

She Makes it Look Easy

2009-10-19T21:43:00.002-05:00

I still can't get over the awesomeness of it all. Chrissie Wellington is so totally my new girl crush.

Erma Bombeck is Smiling Down at Me from Heaven

2009-10-18T22:44:00.002-05:00

Thought you might like to enjoy a laugh at my expense...

Bear slept unusually late Friday morning. As I enjoyed brushing my teeth sans the soundtrack of a child screaming to be released from a plush nursery bigger than my first apartment, I was already thinking I should have gotten up a little earlier to enjoy a shower by myself.

Because I had to attend a business meeting at noon. One that's already been rescheduled 4 times.

Typical game plan for showering without Husband to run Bear interference is to gather his bath stuff together and let him play in the water when I'm done. He usually plays in the tub the entire time I'm getting ready.

I open the shower curtain to discover that Bear had been playing on the tile floor with the water glasses (actual GLASS glasses) his parents had been too tired (read "too sick and spaced out on narcotic cough syrup") to put out of his reach before going to bed. And that Kona - who had already been out at least six times - had peed all over the bathroom floor. And that Bear had abandoned his attempt to shatter the water glasses in favor of splashing in the giant puddle of urine.

I could tell where Kona had wandered because Sable was gleefully running around the bedroom sniffing his footprints.

I piled on some towels and stripped Bear down to get him in the tub. At which point I discovered he had a poopy diaper. So - still naked and dripping wet - I scoop up the Bear with one hand, hold the diaper closed with the other hand, and rush him to his changing table in search of wipes.

It's worth noting at this point I'm on my period and - because I've only been to the store 3 times in the last week - had run out of tampons. So as I was running naked down the hall holding a half naked baby I was also hoping there wasn't blood running down my leg.

There were10 people coming Saturday to process 100 pounds of apples and I'd been sick for a week and the toilet's growing mold and the carpets were a lovely shade of German Shepherd.

So what I'm saying is, I hadn't had time to run downstairs to steal the last box of tampons from the extra bathroom so I certainly didn't have time to clean blood off the carpet.

I took him back in the bathroom and he saw my toothbrush, at which point he decided he had to brush his teeth again or the world would end. So I gave him his toothbrush and went into the closet to grab some underwear.

When I came out he was missing. I went looking for him and found him coming back upstairs - naked, and with toothbrush still in hand. He got to the top, pointed back down and said "uh-oh." Translation: I peed down there somewhere. Good luck finding it.

Then, while Bear played in the tub I desperately tried to get my hair under control. I got it cut by a new stylist Thursday. One whose name I'd be hard pressed to tell you. Because my regular stylist had to have emergency surgery and my other regular stylist was too booked taking appointments canceled by the other stylist. And I was a few months overdue for a cut and had already been forced to reschedule 3 times.

What I learned is, you have to be very specific about what you mean by "structure" when describing the cut you want to a new stylist. She gave me so much structure the Empire State Building is jealous. I've got more layers than an onion. Problem is, it's one of those cuts that requires a trained stylist and specialized equipment to style. Training and equipment I lack. It looked GREAT coming out of the salon. But when I tried to do it, I got something more along the lines of Holly Hunter meets the Shaggy DA circa 1987.

So as I'm trying not to have a hair meltdown the Bear climbed out of the tub and wraps his dripping wet body around my legs. The legs clad in brand new, just got 'em back from the tailor dress pants. So it's on to Plan B - the jeans I wore yesterday.

He goes back in the tub. I go back to my hair. In the mirror I see a naked toddler streak behind me into the closet and slam the door. I followed him immediately, but was too late. I found him hiding in the back corner of my closet under my dresses, gleefully playing with his own personal fountain of urine.

I got him cleaned up and dressed. I got my portfolio for the meeting. He hid under my desk.

I went back to finish my makeup. He wandered off with the toothpaste and toothbrush. I decided I didn't care.

When it was time to leave I found him hiding in the dog crate, sucking on the toothpaste, showing the dog the cartoon train on his toothbrush and excitedly explaining that trains say "Woo Woo!"

I may or may not have left a pile of urine soaked towels on my bathroom floor. But I made it to my meeting on time, so we're putting this one in the Win column.

Post Script... after all that, my meeting stood me up. I decided it was a sign I deserved a nice quiet lunch by myself.

Silver Linings

2009-10-12T23:51:00.004-05:00

Schedules are about to get awfully complex around here because Bear has been referred for Speech Therapy due to a "significant" speech delay. Because he's about to turn 2 and - aside from "uh-oh" - is essentially nonverbal. (He doesn't even call me Mommy, people. It's HARD. To have a kid. Who screams all the time. And can't even say Mommy.) Based on his behavior issues he's also being evaluated by 3 other specialists. They suspect possible sensory integration disorder along with a sub-niche of that called self-regulatory disorder. The 4 specialists will be spending several hours with him next week to work out which of them he needs and to develop a treatment plan. At which point my life becomes about therapy appointments.

But on the bright side... my Bear will get what he needs so he can be happy and healthy and theoretically resolve all these issues before they can impact his education. And so he can call me Mommy.

Bear is sick. Again. As am I. And Wonderful Husband just came down with it today. Just the nature of flu season and having a child in daycare.

But on the bright side... I'm sick late enough I've got the Halloween event prep handled and early enough I've got time to recover before the events (personal and professional) I'm hosting. And work is really light right now, so keeping Bear home from school isn't hurting my business.

With everything going on I think I've worked out once in the last 2 months.

But on the bright side, my plantar fasciitis seems to appreciate the break and is gradually improving. Some days I don't even limp.

My beloved Kramer was missing for a week and returned unscathed, but it's still costing a small fortune in vet bills to recheck his blood and get his meds back on track.

But on the bright side... since his little adventure he's redefined what's scary, and no longer cowers in the basement all the time. Now he just tells Kona to back off so he can get all the love he needs.

I'm miserably sick with what I think is the flu.

But on the bright side... I'm losing a little more weight because I'm the kinds of sick that makes food totally unappealing.

Life was good before this temporary trip to crapsville, and it will be good again. I just have to put my head down and work through it.

Apple picking on a perfect September afternoon.

Baby Bear Brick

2009-09-30T17:50:00.003-05:00

Bear insisted on going outside to play before dinner, so I brought the trike out and he climbed right on. With the help of the slanted driveway, he totally pedaled all the way down to the sidewalk and partway down the block!

Then, of course, he lost momentum and couldn't keep it going so easily. After trying for a while he gave up and went all Normann Stadler on his bike. It was hilarious.

After he threw his bike, he took off running. It's a great day, so I figured I'd see how far he'd really go and trotted after him.

Dudes. He ran. I mean, RAN. Around the whole 3/4 mile block! In a totally haphazard, adorable toddler, splay-legged, flailing arms, Phoebe in the park kind of way.

It was awesome.

Calorie Nazi Status Report

2009-09-29T19:40:00.003-05:00

Just told The Calorie Nazi about the curried alfredo pasta I had for dinner. Flames shot out the back of my computer.

Note to self: when in doubt - and if the entree is based on butter and heavy cream, go with "doubt" - calculate the calories in a dish BEFORE eating a big plate of it.

In other news...reached another low weight this week - haven't been this since before I was married. Was really excited about it and refused to say for days for fear of jinxing it. Then I had to tell my husband and best friend. And then promptly gained 4 pounds in water weight. Apparently Aunt Flo doesn't like braggers.

Doctor Visit

2009-09-23T14:22:00.002-05:00

I'm sure I've hinted here and there that Bear's not the easiest kid to live with. I love him more than life itself and I wouldn't change having him for the world. But there are days - and they're more often than I care to admit - that he reduces me to a sobbing mess. When he hasn't reduced me to a shrieking shell of my former self.

His daycare teachers half-jokingly refer to him as the kid they had to make special rules for. My best friend -a former child care professional - frequently reassures me that his behavior is atypical and it's not because I'm a bad mother.

It takes sharing his care with daycare, grandma and close friends for me to maintain my mental health. My best friend calls me almost every morning and evening, partially to make sure I'm doing ok after a day alone with him.

Seriously. He's THAT hard to take care of.

He's 22 months old now, and for the better part of this year everyone who's ever had contact with him has asked or suggested if he's ADHD, autistic or hearing impaired.

I basically blew it off because, well, he's 1. But now that he's almost 2 and had a frightening number of behaviors on an autism checklist, I decided it was time to bring it up with his pediatrician. She told me she doesn't feel qualified to diagnose these things in such a young child and referred me to a pediatric neurologist for evaluation.

We just got back. He said:
- Bear's definitively not autistic. (PHEW!)
- Bear is much too young to diagnose anything like ADHD (that's what I figured... but it's not ruled out)
- certain behaviors aside, Bear does not appear to be hearing impaired (I didn't think so)

What Bear IS, the neurologist feels, is "significantly speech delayed." He recommended immediately getting him into speech therapy. The goal is to keep him from backsliding from crazy smart to developmentally delayed by the time school rolls around.

The good news is that his 'receptive' speech is age appropriate (and possibly even advanced). It's his 'expressive' speech that's behind. Basically, he understands everything you say, he just doesn't talk back.

It doesn't explain the outrageously challenging behavior that characterizes my Bear, but at least it's a plan. It beats crying from frustration at the end of the day and not knowing if there's anything I can do to help him.

Open Letter to the Powers That Be

2009-09-23T08:06:00.004-05:00

Took my measurements so I could order a Halloween costume. Because we all know they run about 3 sizes smaller than the size on the label, and if you don't order by measurements... and the individual manufacturer's randomly generated size chart... and then still order a size up... you're likely to get an outfit that will look lovely on a doll, but has no actual connection to clothing an adult could get into.

Anyway. I discovered I've lost 4 inches off my bust.

Yeah.

So THAT'S where that last 10 pounds came from. Well. At least it 'splains why my shirts suddenly fit so much better.

But if I could make a request to the Powers That Be... next time you're carving 4 inches off my bod, couldja please take a whack at my ass?

And now for a little Geek Out

2009-09-16T08:41:00.004-05:00

Not sure if it's more geeky to admit I read XKCD or that I find this particular strip LOL funny...

(If you're new to XKCD... read the hover text. It's the best part!)

Missing Madison

2009-09-11T15:46:00.003-05:00

This is the first time in 3 years I'm not heading to Madison to work IM Moo.

Been thinking about it for a few weeks. Wondering who's going to be there. Wishing I could be.

But if I don't even have time to keep up with my buddies' blogs to know who's gonna be there, I clearly don't have a weekend to devote to actually being there. Just not the right thing for me to do this year.

Part of my heart will be in Madison this weekend. I hope everyone there has an amazing time and I can't wait to read all the race reports.

We'll be here instead, taking Bear apple picking on a local farm.

Different Kind of Fitness

2009-09-09T10:07:00.002-05:00

I remember about 10 years ago - before my diagnosis and meds and lifestyle change - giving up on planting a single bush after only 2 or 3 shovel fulls of dirt. Simply could not do it.

Last Friday, I installed 4 bushes. After which, I felt tired but fine.

Monday, I installed 8 more feet of retaining wall. After which, I felt tired but fine.

Tuesday, I installed 8 bushes. After which, I felt tired but fine.

But. Dudes. Went on a 2 mile, 10 minute bike ride with the family this weekend and wanted to die. Was actually thankful Bear threw a tantrum and we had to go home.

I've got enough base fitness left over from a few years of training that I'm cool with a few hours of hard landscaping work now. But my cardio fitness has fallen farther than I thought possible.

Well. At least I know what my new priority is. (After I get those last few bushes in...)

Evil Cross Training

2009-09-04T15:03:00.002-05:00

Actual tri-oriented workouts are still scarce because of Bear logistics, but to my surprise it's been easy to keep up with Evil Cross Training. Specifically: landscaping.

I can do it when he's napping because I'm still home, and he sleeps longer and better because there's no noisy treadmill. And there is no question I'm getting a good workout.

Sometimes it's just weeding (because OMG, the WEEDS!). Yesterday it was 2 hours of planting 4 new shrubs. Most weekends this summer it's been a couple hours of building the retaining wall.

Ironically, The Calorie Nazi says I'm burning twice the calories with trench digging and wall building than if I'd jogged on the treadmill for the same time. Who knew?

And with that... I'm off to ~~dig a trench~~ work out.

Confessional

2009-09-03T10:35:00.003-05:00

The week Kramer was missing I was all 'Calorie Nazi WHO?'

I wasn't a total idiot about it, but even that short break in diligence made me gain back almost 5 pounds.

I guess some of it was water weight, cause after only 2 days back in his controlling arms I've dropped 2 pounds.

I'd gotten lazy before that little drama anyway. Now I'm trying to be good again. I'm even pretending there isn't 3 kinds of ice cream, hot fudge, caramel sauce, whipped cream and maraschino cherries in the kitchen (for a birthday this weekend) and am forcing my poor PMSing self to go here:

Mmm... chocolate flavored styrofoam. I just looove my Calorie Nazi.

Biker Bear

2009-09-01T08:00:00.001-05:00

One day a couple weeks ago, I noticed Bear studying the neighborhood boys very intently as they rode up and down our street. It was a nice day and we'd been outside trying to teach him to ride his trike (he's *this* close to pedaling). A big honkin' light bulb sent on that day - his trike did not look like the big boys' bikes.

He can't even ride it yet, but he was officially DONE with the trike.

He has another bike. But we didn't know he knew that. A good friend found it at a garage sale the day of my baby shower and got it as a joke. It's been hanging from the ceiling waiting for him to grown into it.

He went in the garage and proceeded to point and grunt at his other bike until we finally got it down to humor him. He climbed on like an old pro and looked at us like "well, make it go!"

Someone should tell him if he's big enough for the bike he's too big for the pacifier.

When Bear gets something in his head there's little to do but go with it, so Wonderful Husband set it up for him.

Like any good cyclist, Bear double-checked his mechanic's work.

Bear putting the final adjustments on his brake. Note the total ignorage of a perfectly nice trike.

Now every time we open the garage Bear rushes over to his bike and demands I get it out. Here's hoping he'll master pedaling before the weather turns this fall!

(And yes, I did go out the next day and buy him a helmet. I just can't get him to sit still long enough to take a picture of him wearing it.)

Happy Ending

2009-08-29T23:10:00.004-05:00

My precious Kramer is home safe and sound!

At 8 Saturday night - just a few hours after I'd given up hope and cleaned out his things - the doorbell rang. Some neighbor kids found a cat in their yard and had seen the flyer we put up at the park.

Wonderful Husband went down the block to their house and sure enough, it was Kramer.

After a week off his meds and running wild we need to get him to the vet, but aside from being thin he looks none the worse for wear.

He's been insatiably snuggly all night, so I'm gonna assume he's as happy to see us as we were to see him.

Annoying But Effective

2009-08-28T13:36:00.005-05:00

My foot hurt so much after dancing at last weekend's awesome wedding I almost got out crutches. So when I had a little time to squeeze in a workout Thursday morning, I wasn't going to take any chances with a run, it was pouring rain so I couldn't bike and going to swim would take too long.

But I was determined to work out. So I rooted through my very small, very dusty collection of workout videos and found this:

No idea where it came from, because I find her annoying as hell and I certainly didn't buy it. Probably a gift from the MIL somewhere along the line.

Anyhoo. She's still annoying. And while there is some actual yoga in there, it's more like someone nostalgic for the 90s realized they can rebrand the same old videos by throwing a few yoga poses between elements of an old school cardio and toning session. Aside from that, the only real difference was the background folks traded out neon spandex for yoga wear and someone was apparently off camera with a cue card reminding Denise to say "yoga body" once in a while.

It was kind of like getting a side o' cheese with the annoying.

So. REALLY. Hate to admit this. But it was a good workout. Good enough I'll probably try to learn it enough to mute her annoying voice and play my own music.

Missing

2009-08-25T12:16:00.004-05:00

My beloved 14 year old Kramer is missing. I raised him from a teeny little 4 week old kitten. I'm a wreck. Neither of us can remember seeing him for sure any more recently than last Thursday or Friday. We had company all weekend, plus hosted a big brunch on Sunday. He's shy and we figured he was hiding until everyone left. But there's been no sign of him since.

He's a strictly indoor cat but occasionally tries to sneak out onto the porch for some sun. We wonder if that's what happened when we had company and no one noticed. We've done the awful searching through the basement ceiling to make sure he isn't up there. I think it might be easier if I had found his body in the basement. Then I wouldn't be tortured with wondering where he is or if I'll ever see him again.

Subtle as a Train Wreck

2009-08-16T21:37:00.003-05:00

One morning last week I told Bear we were going to the park as soon as I got my shoes on. Then I went upstairs to get my shoes, and took an extra minute to apply some sunscreen.

This was waiting for me when I came back down.

He managed to extract this stroller - which weighs as much as he does - from its entanglement with the other stroller in the foyer, drag it all the way across the house, partially unfold it and get it wedged in the sliding glass door. Which he opened.

Let's hope when he grows up he will use his powers for good.

Because He Wasn't in the Mood for a Nap

2009-08-12T15:16:00.001-05:00

Calorie Nazi Status Report

2009-08-08T10:34:00.003-05:00

I officially reached a new loss level today - that's 55 pounds, baby!

I haven't been this weight since the mid 1990s. As this last few pounds came off I've noticed a difference in my face that makes me happy when I look in the mirror. That last extra chin is practically gone!

Technically I did get down 10 pounds lower than this - to 207 - while I was pregnant. But I think it doesn't count when weight loss is due to possession by an alien pod person who makes you puke your way down the scale.

All in all, I'm a happy camper. I got past the endlessly frustrating plateau that was spring 2009 and calmly accepted I won't be making it down to 190 this year. But if I keep working at this very manageable pace I could still see 210, or maybe even 205.

I know that's ridiculously slow to some, but between work and Baby Bear and life in general it's what I can manage right now. It's still progress. The numbers on the scale - and in my closet - are still getting smaller. And my paces on the workouts I can squeeze in are still getting bigger.

I'm the tortoise, not the hare. And that's all kinds of fine with me.

I Run on Tuesdays

2009-08-04T11:25:00.002-05:00

Between the car accident and a two day migraine, I've been feeling less than stellar since Sunday. This morning I was feeling dazed and befuddled and sliding towards depressed.

This morning it hit me that I was supposed to do a triathlon this weekend, but I'm not. And not just because I haven't worked out once since the race in June.

It's not that I don't want to train and certainly not that I don't want to race. I miss it terribly. I just don't know where the time goes any more.

Work has dried up like it always does in the summer. So this morning - after oversleeping and making the Bear late for his ride to school - I found myself with zero motivation and a mile long To Do list.

Then I remembered it's Tuesday. And I run on Tuesdays. At least, I used to.

So I blew off my list and geared up. Almost made it out the door. Remembered my foot. I never know if it will let me run 5 minutes or 5 miles, and I've got no exit strategy if I run outside. You could see the disappointment on Kona's face when he realized we weren't going out. So he did the next best thing - he sat on the treadmill waiting for me to start his workout. I seriously love my dog, even when I have to fight him for a turn on the treadmill. Especially then.

I plugged in an interval session and went to town with my Oldies playlist blaring. Still mopey, still depressed, still not wanting to do it. But it's Tuesday. And if I want to stop feeling like this that has to mean something again.

I leaned on Bill Withers. I Do Run Runned with the Ronnettes. I got me some Respect from Aretha. And by the time the Five Stairsteps sang things are gonna get easier, I believed them.

I went aggressive, pushing myself with a 4.5 mph (13:20) pace on the run intervals. Not long ago 4.3 mph felt really hard, so imagine my delight when I was able to bump up and hold a 4.7 mph (12:45) pace for the last 3 intervals.

Then Kona got his turn running while I stretched.

It's Tuesday. And I ran. So that's something.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

2009-08-02T15:15:00.005-05:00

I've recently become a big fan of freecycle because I'm all about keeping things from being unnecessarily landfilled and finding homes for items that still have life in them.

So I posted my retired vacuum and someone wanted it. She had no transportation and requested I deliver it. This is not cool. But it was on the way to somewhere I was headed anyway and I really wanted to get the vacuum out of the house, so I reluctantly agreed to drop it off.

We take the damn thing over and drop it off at this person's apartment. Because I figure if someone is in such a bad financial way they need to ask a stranger to bring them a free vacuum, it's the least I can do. I get that my life is blessed and I try to never take that for granted.

As we're leaving the parking lot, we got hit by someone who didn't bother to look behind her while backing out of a parking space.

A non English speaking, unlicensed, uninsured someone. Who - through a young boy who got dragged into the conversation to translate - kept trying to talk us out of calling in the accident while telling us she had a friend who could fix it cheap and that she could get us the money 'manana.' (No, I can't find the fucking tilda right now, I know it's not right, I don't care.)

The passenger side of my van is all smashed in. The side, incidentally, with Baby Bear. I'm not sure I'll ever forget how helpless I felt as I watched that car back into the exact spot my baby was sitting.

Wonderful Husband and I had just spent the morning going over our less than fabulous finances and planning to look into a refi to see if that would make things a little less tight. Now we're on the hook for the $500 deductible and a rental car while the van gets fixed.

Oh, and the officer told us if this had happened on the road she'd have been ticketed and arrested. But because it happened on private property he can't touch her. Bottom line - the chica at fault walks away scott free.

I don't want anyone arrested over a repairable incident with no injuries and I'd have been mortified it that had happened to her. But I'm furious to the point of tears that she can't even be issued a ticket and we're stuck paying for the whole goddamn thing.

I am making no judgments about this young girl's situation. I'm just sayin' if you're illegal, unlicensed and uninsured, please look the fuck behind you when you're backing out of a goddamn parking space.

Best Laid Plans

2009-07-30T07:58:00.003-05:00

Business is summer slow, so for my first hour of Bear Freedom this morning I was going to treat myself to either a bike ride, an open water swim or some Evil Cross Training (garden wall building - I'm halfway to my goal of getting it half done this summer). Or maybe 2 out of 3, if I was feelin' sassy.

It literally started raining just as I buckled Bear into the car seat for his ride to school. Bleh.

It's 7:58 am. I can't believe I'm fully dressed, ready to do ANY of those things, and am being thwarted by the weather.

***later this morning***

I went with Evil Cross Training because it was closer to home in case of lightning. I got 7 more feet of retaining wall installed. Go me!

Money Well Spent

2009-07-26T15:19:00.003-05:00

After Bear hated the rough ride in the cheap bike trailer we got last summer, we got rid of it and started looking for a used high end model.

There were plenty on Craigslist, but we never managed to be first in line. Then we got lucky and stumbled across this Burley DeLite in darn good shape at a neighbor's garage sale. At $150 it was less than any of the Craigslist offerings for the same model, and well worth it.

Bear absolutely loves it and Wonderful Husband has already taken him for several rides. We're really happy that we can go biking as a family now.

Shuffling Priorities

2009-07-23T07:54:00.008-05:00

Had to drop my September sprint in favor of a friend's baby shower. I'm cool with that - your friends only have their first baby once.

After consulting with my friend who was to race it with me, we're fairly certain we're going to drop the August 9 sprint in favor of reality and common sense.

There's that I haven't had a chance to work out - unless you count Evil Garden Wall Building Cross Training - even once since my sprint in June. But the bigger issues are that money is tight and the foot is still a real problem.

It makes more sense to put the money I'd have spent on the race entry on - as my doctor, my PT and many of you have recommended - into another pair of high quality arch supporting shoes. Aside from the logical medical reasons, the leather Burks need a chance to, um, breathe a little, if you know what I mean.

I've been doing some reading (thanks for everyone's tips, btw, these are shoes I've known existed but could never find). Based on reviews containing phrases like "wide feet," "great arch support" and "helped my plantar fasciitis," here's my wish list ...

Keen Venice Sandals

Chaco Unaweep Sandals

Teva Open Toachi Sandals

Chaco Flip Flops

*** Update***
Tried on a pair of the Keens today. They seriously felt like walking on air and I almost got them, but held off because they're $100. Now I'm glad I waited; I did some more searching and found a blog post from a woman with "insanely high arches" who wrote about her comparison test of Keen vs. Chacos. She bought the Keens and had to return them because the arch support wasn't robust enough.

I also tried on some Tevas. Definitely wide enough and the arch support would probably be great for a normal person, but it didn't feel robust enough for me.

Born to be Wild

2009-07-15T16:59:00.003-05:00

Life with Bear, in a nutshell.

So, it is a bad thing...

2009-07-10T18:22:00.003-05:00

... if I don't get in a single workout between my last tri and the one I'm supposed to do on August 9th?

At this rate I'm going to have to count bouncing around with Bear in toddler swim class as training sessions!

Race Report: 2009 US Women's Tri Series

2009-06-26T14:09:00.020-05:00

Event: Sprint Triathlon
Swim: 750 meters
Bike: 14.1 miles
Run: 3.1 mile (5K)
Date: 6/14/09
Location: Naperville, IL

Pre Race
I cried as I pulled out of the driveway. First time I've ever left Baby Bear to do something for myself. I know it's good and healthy and the way things ought to be and I didn't think it would bother me. I had no idea it would make me cry. But I soon got over it and went on my merry way.

Pulling into my hotel after hitting a nicely empty packet pick-up 20 minutes before it closed, I noticed the sign said "Welcome DucKon." Which my husband had recently been talking about because we had friends in attendance - I just had no idea it was in the same hotel. A quick phone call and a couple of texts later, I had dinner plans with some non-tri friends. Awesome.

The coolest part was that my hilarious friend Marianne dragged me around to her friends at the con, introducing me as "my friend Michelle who's doing the triathlon." Like it was my last name. And they all seemed So. Impressed. She made me feel like a rock star. I guess it takes a convention of (in my friend's words) "overweight sci-fi geeks" for me to come off as athletic. But I don't care - I heart my sci-fi geeks. I AM a sci-fi geek - just not convention-attending caliber. It was a wonderfully bizarre feeling to be surrounded by my peeps from two completely different worlds - one in which my athletic aspirations are almost comical, and one in which I seemed to be some sort of athletic goddess.

Didn't even flinch when I scheduled the wake-up call for 4:20 am. Thanks to Baby Bear, dark o'clock no longer holds any fear. Was ready to fall asleep by 8:30, but there was a Singing Tesla Coils show starting at 9 in the hotel parking lot. And who wants to be the chick who blew off the Singing Tesla Coils? So I went down long enough to get the gist before I turned in.

Singing Tesla Coils. Totally worth staying up an extra hour.

Race Morning
My stomach was unhappy from the moment I woke up and I couldn't choke down one bite of my ritual bagel. I forced myself to nibble Shot Blocks and sip Recharge all morning. Eventually I managed to get down half a Clif Bar. I was very worried about having enough gas in the tank to get through two hours of racing, but was more worried about throwing up so I didn't force it. In retrospect I'd been a bit off all week, so maybe it was just a virusy thing.

Arranged to meet my friend Aimee in transition because we were in the same wave again. This is where we met in 2005, and we've kept in touch ever since. She's as sweet and wonderful and - in spite of being out of the sport for 4 years due to major health problems - as ridiculously fit as ever.

We meet again in Wave 17

Also managed to see tri blogger MommyMeepa as she went zooming past to set up her transition. As luck would have it, we were also in the same wave this year. Turns out when you get older and the age groups get smaller, there's a much better chance of being in a wave with your friends. Another great reason to stay in the game.

Between the nervous peeing and the upset tummy, I got an outdoor potty reminder why I haven't worn the one piece tri suit in four years. But it does stay put under the wetsuit, so the jury is still out on whether or not I'll race in it again.

There's a large percentage of first-timers at this event, and while chatting in line for the loo more than one asked me for advice. I told them the one thing I wish someone had told me before my first race - be sure to smile for the photographers. This got a lot of laughs, so hopefully I managed to ease up some first race jitters for a few sweet women.

Thanks to a couple of practice runs and a handy-dandy grocery bag, the wetsuit went on without incident.

Aimee rocked her racing bikini in spite of the frigid water.

Found Meeps at the last minute before our wave was called down to the water and she grabbed a camera from her family on the sideline to catch this shot...

Me and Meeps - between us we've lost a hundred pounds so far. Go us!

Quite possibly the most unflattering picture of someone in a wetsuit ever taken. At least I've got something to post on the fridge to stave off those mid-summer ice cream cravings.

This is also the point at which I realized I'd put my goggles over my cap instead of under, but it was too late to do anything about it. Thankfully it was fine.

Swim
Race morning they announced the water had warmed up slightly from the dire mid 60s predictions the race directed had emailed the week before. But my gym pool is kept in the mid 80s for arthritic retirees, so as far as I'm concerned 71 degree water is borderline brutal. I stuck with the wetsuit plan, and was very glad I did.

I loved the extra buoyancy, and in the future I'm sure I'll love how it improves my position in the water. But I was so busy not being able to breathe I was almost irritated at how well my legs stayed up. Pre-race wetsuit swim practice plans A, B and C had gotten nixed, so this was my first time. Not that I was all that worried about it, but it would have been nice to know that it's hard to breathe with the tourniquet running bra under the wetsuit. Combine that with water cold enough to take my breath away every time I tried to put my face in it, and I wasn't having the best time of my life.

But. I stayed calm and kept moving and never freaked out or flipped on my back. My time wasn't good, but still a PR by a few seconds. Chatted with Meeps a bit until I had to give up talking to focus on breathing, because I knew I wouldn't be able to put my face in and swim right until I got my breath under control. I wasn't one bit scared - I mean, look at this gorgeous swim venu -but it was still very comforting to know a friend was close by.

Centennial Beach, Naperville, IL

I got a big reminder of how friendly this race is as I got close enough to the finish to stand up in the water and remembered to start undoing my wetsuit. The women to my left saw me feeling around for the zipper pull, stopped her race and offered to help unzip me! I have no idea how I'm going to handle the transition to co-ed racing, because women's events really rock.

No, wait... THIS is the most unflattering wetsuit picture ever taken.

T1
I took it easy and walked T1 because my foot always seizes up when I'm barefoot, especially after taking weight off of it for a while. I left the arch brace in transition because I didn't want it to get sandy and be useless the rest of the day. I was a little concerned about my first wetsuit exit, but it was uneventful.

Bike
This was my first event since I started riding my bike with A) any idea how to use gears the way they were meant to be, and B) a cadence goal. Since I started training to a cadence I've been enjoying rides more in general, but this was great! My legs never got that awful dead, burny feeling. I passed people. Me! Passing people! I more or less kept my cadence in the 80s. And except for a few little uphill grades and a healthy headwind to boot, I stayed almost entirely in the big ring. That was a major accomplishment for me and I was all kinds of happy about it. And then there was the gorgeous day and the friendly people. I'd have had to try awfully hard to have a bad time on that bike ride.

Wheeeee!

Partway through the second loop I looked at my time and thought I might PR this leg by a good 10 minutes, but the headwind on the return portion had other plans. I still had fun, felt great and managed my effort well, so I can't complain about a 4:30 PR.

T2
My bad foot really doesn't like walking in bike shoes on a good day, plus it was seizing up after being non-weight-bearing for nearly an hour. So I got over the side of the bike chute as soon as I could and pulled off the shoes. Other than the limping, T2 went the way T2 should go. Even remembered to send husband the text I'd promised to let him know I was starting the run.

Run
Got the best surprise ever about 50 yards after the run start - Wonderful Husband was waiting with Baby Bear! So I got hugs and kisses before getting to work finishing the last leg.

They changed the beginning of the run route this year, apparently because the rich people didn't like their street being closed off on race day. But they re-routed through a lovely shady park, so except for the part where a good bit of the first half mile is a gradual uphill, I love the new route.

The fabulous new portion of the run course

Wasn't able to maintain a jog for very long, but got back to it whenever it felt good. And it felt good a lot more than I expected. Got a good dose of 'you're almost there' syndrome from a well-intentioned but moronic spectator who lived near the beginning of the route. As we came out of the park and rejoined the course on the street, she was on the corner shouting 'The first mile's done! Only two more to go!" to all the racers. Since this was a new route for the course, I totally believed her. I was looking at my watch and thinking "Wow! I totally rocked that first mile!" That really should've been my first clue - since when do I pull off a 10 minute mile?! Clearly the morning's calorie deficiency impacted my sanity.

Of course, the Mile 1 marker was nearly half a mile down the street. But that's a minor thing - I should know better by now than to listen to the 'you're almost there' crowd anyway. Lesson re-learned.

Chatted with some nice women, cheered for the ones who passed me, jogged as much as I could. The weather was so nice I got brave and for the first time did not carry my own fluids on the run. I sipped water at the mile 1 and 1.5 aid stations and was feeling good. But the day was getting warmer and I started craving the mile 2 aid station sooner than I'd have liked. I'm glad I learned I can pull it off on a mild day, but will plan to go back to carrying a run bottle until I'm considerably faster between water stops.

Finish
Less than half a mile from the finish I started to get really weepy. This was the first time I was going to cross a finish line with my son waiting at the other end. I love that he will never know a time in his life that triathlon wasn't a part of mine. I love that he only gets to know the happy, healthy me.

Feeling great and happy to be alive!

Wonderful Husband, Baby Bear and our (former triathlete) friend Ki were waiting for me just before the chute. They were pushing me away and yelling at me to go finish, but I didn't care about my time and gave them all a big sweaty hug and kiss before moving on. I'm used to doing these alone and it means the world to me when my friends and family make it.

Triathlon number 5 is on the books!

Post Race
We were on the way back to the finish line when I thought to get a family picture. This was right before he lost it completely and we had to make the call to head home.

I'd assumed I would wait to see Meepa's big finish, but Bear was at his limit. A 90 minute drive and sitting around in crowds for hours is a lot to ask of an 18 month old. I felt really bad for not being able to stay for her, but she's got kids and knows what it's like when their needs have to come first. We managed to catch up on the phone while I was driving home.

Obligatory Epiphany
I went into this race knowing it was all about fun. I wasn't nervous or afraid. In fact, until I started to great really excited two days before, I was starting to wonder if I was going to feel anything at all, and that bothered me a great deal. I was going into it on 0 - 3 workouts a week... and there were a lot more zeros than threes in the last year. So, I knew I had nothing like a big PR to look forward to. But I was worried it meant I was losing my love for the sport.

I couldn't put my finger on it until I read one of Pharmie's recent race reports and she nailed it. So I'm going to blatantly plagiarize her (except for the part where she did a HIM) - I realized I'm no longer afraid of the distance.

I'm happy that means I've achieved a baseline fitness level that allows me to knock out a sprint just for kicks. But I also get that it means that I'm not pushing myself hard enough, and it's time to find the fear again.

It's time for me to get my act together, work out my foot problem and pick an Oly. The lack of a wetsuit used to be an issue, but I no longer have that excuse. I had originally decided not to pursue an Oly until I could break 2 hours on a sprint, but I'm obviously not pushing myself hard enough for sprints any more and need to rethink that milestone.

I'm realistic about the chronic plantar fasciitis, so I get the Oly will probably have to be next year. But even saying "next year" sends a shiver up my spine, so it's a good place to start...

Results Swim (750m): 21:43 (30 second course PR)
T1: 8:03
Bike (14.1 mile): 55:42 (4:30 min course PR)
T2: 5:17
Run (5K): 51:00 (5:42 min course PR)

Total: 2:21:43 (22:28 min course PR)

Age group: 350/356
Overall: 1643/1705

Secret Formula

2009-06-24T09:49:00.005-05:00

After a year of chronic pain that just kept getting worse, I think I've found the secret formula to resolve my plantar fasciitis.

THIS

plus

THESE

The velcro arch support wasn't supportive enough, and was too bulky to wear with shoes. The stretchy bandage version is fabulous. The pain relief from the moment I put it on is almost too good to be true. But it's just a pain mitigation measure - it doesn't seem to address the source of the problem.

So I finally caved to conventional plantar fasciitis treatment wisdom and dropped $110 on a pair of Birkenstocks. Birkestock Florida in a high arch, to be specific.

Oh. My. GAWD. My foot felt so much better just trying them on I wore them out of the store.

In just 3 weeks of owning them - and wearing them almost exclusively, just about every minute of the day - my PF pain has diminished dramatically.

So dramatically, in fact, that yesterday I was able to wear a cute pair of strappy sandals for a few hours at a business thing with no pain. The foot was somewhat sore later in the day, but nothing like it has been.

I did see my doctor, and he told me to stick with wearing only super arch-supportive shoes (i.e. my Birks and running shoes with inserts) for the forseeable future. He actually recommended I give up all my other shoes permanently, but, well, we know THAT'S not going to happen. But I am officially a Birkenstock convert and have decided to give up all my flip-flops. (Except for the ones I wear in the locker room. A girl's gotta have standards.)

So.... I guess.... yay for clunky sandals that make my legs look fat?!

Race Report - Cliff Notes Version

2009-06-14T16:41:00.003-05:00

Had a blast. Finished feeling great. Wetsuit worthy every penny. Foot unhappy. Got too much sun. Life is good.

Swim (750m): 21:43 (30 second course PR)
T1: 8:03 (what can I say - limping on bad foot & first wetsuit exit)
Bike (14.1 mile): 55:42 (4:30 min course PR)
T2: 5:17 (still limping!)
Run (5K): 51:00 (5:42 min course PR)

Total: 2:21:43 (22:28 min course PR)

Real report to follow once I get all the pictures.

Eat Your Heart Out Shamu

2009-06-12T15:49:00.004-05:00

I'm not sayin' it's pretty, but the wetsuit fiiiiitttsss!!!!

I was pleased that the hips went on a bit easier than I'd feared. Not that I could squeeze one extra pound into it, but it went over the hips without too much drama, so that was all good.

I do have to say, without my trusty ~~tourniquet~~ Enelle smashing the girls back a good few inches, I'm not sure it would have zipped all the way up. But it did. And I always always always wear an Enelle for races, so that's all good.

Next step - finding someone who's not at the Cubs game to watch Bear while I take it for a test swim.

Pix to follow...

(and for any of my curvy girls who might be looking at wetsuits as well... I'm 5'2" and currently weigh 218. I wear size 18/20 pants, 14/16 top and 40G bra. The wetsuit is a Blue Seventy Reaction, size Women's Large Athena.)

Great Customer Service

2009-06-11T19:16:00.003-05:00

Was super disappointed today to get a notification my wetsuit order was canceled. Called customer service to find out why and was told they found a defect in the suit (a large rip) when they were packing it up. (Bonus points for them catching it and not screwing me over by sending it anyway.)

It was the last one in stock, hence the not just sending another.

The customer service rep at Wetsuit Wearhouse was polite, professional and extremely helpful. He apologized profusely for them missing the step where they're supposed to call me about the order problem. Then he spent 15 minutes on the phone with me trying to solve the problem.

He wanted to help me get a comparable suit, but he let me know I probably wouldn't be happy with another brand because most base their designs on a male figure. Blue Seventy is apparently the only company out there cutting suits for girls with hips and chests.

The managed to be polite and sympathetic while acknowledging the fact that my wetsuit options are limited. This impressed me because I've heard some horror stories about women in my position being openly insulted by wetsuit salesmen.

He said I was on the right track looking at sleeveless if I have broad shoulders and a big chest, but the problem was there was nothing comparable to the suit that was out of stock for me to get instead.

So he knocked a big honkin' chunk off the price of the full sleeve suit to bring it closer to what I'd planned to pay for the sleeveless, and overnighted it to me.

I feel more like an athlete just looking at this picture.

I can't remember the last time I got anything close to this kind of customer service. They've pretty much won me over as a customer forever.

I should have it in my hands by 3:00 tomorrow afternoon - plenty of time to do a proper try-on and, if it's a good fit, to sneak in a quick open water test over at my buddy's lake.

Life is good. Now here's hoping this gentleman's efforts were not in vain and the darn thing fits!!

Routine Reverence

2009-06-11T07:57:00.001-05:00

And now we pause for a moment to salute The Ceremonial Printing of the Race Checklist.

Dot xls, of course.

Turbo Boost

2009-06-10T15:31:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I realized my faaahbulously painted toes (OPI's My Big Break) were an exact perfect match for my berry purple Speedo.

CLEARLY. That is why I felt so good in the water and dropped my pace by 15 sec/100 yds.

Now I just have to figure out what nail color will turbo boost my royal blue tri suit for this weekend. Because that will totally make up for my complete lack of training, right!?

How Dumb Would This Be?

2009-06-09T09:48:00.003-05:00

We were just notified by the race officials that the water temp this weekend is predicted to be in the 60s and wetsuits are recommended. On account of they don't want us dying from hypothermia and stuff.

Here's the thing... this is a beginner-friendly sprint race in a glorified swimming pool (tiny quarry "lake"). The water is traditionally close to 80. Few of the 2400+ participants have wetsuits and I'm betting none of the 1000+ first timers have them.

And y'all know I sure as hell don't have one.

So how stupid would it be to order one today to wear this weekend?

I realized I'd be breaking several rules...
- buying a suit without trying it on
- wearing a suit first time in a race
- spending money I (technically can but) shouldn't

But that hypothermia is such a bitch!

Here's what the voices in my head are saying about the rule breaking:
- If it doesn't fit I can always return it (or worst case, resell on ebay or craigslist)
- I have read the forums and begged for advice from other curvy girls to learn there are a bare handful of options I can even think about ordering, so it's not like I'm shooting in the dark.
- Most places I've talked to don't have the size I'd need to try on anyway, so I'd probably be stuck ordering online regardless.
- This race doesn't matter. With my foot problems, I shouldn't even be doing it. It's like an extra long workout with a few thousand of my closest girlfriends. So who cares if wearing a wetsuit for the first time messes with my swim a bit?
- I just landed a project last night that will cover the cost.

So, seriously. How dumb would I be?

(In other news... snuck in a swim first thing this morning and averaged 3:11/100 yd pace. I know it's slow overall, but that's a 14 second/100 yd improvement over my last workout!)

Number One Sign It's Been Too Long

2009-06-06T19:17:00.002-05:00

I was being all proactive and stuff today and since I haven't actually worn my tri suit in 4 years, I decided to try it on just to make sure it was still in good shape for next week's race.

What I learned was that I weigh 16 lbs less now and it fits better than ever.

*ahem*

Even backwards.

Repurposed

2009-06-05T23:07:00.002-05:00

I finally found a use for that ridiculous insulated bag the hospital passes out as a "gift for nursing mothers" from The Makers of Enfamil...

It Really Can Happen To Anyone

2009-06-02T15:13:00.002-05:00

PT Chris called today to let me know about (her family friend) Dave Scott's car vs. bike incident.

Holy cow. If the Ironest Ironman of all is vulnerable, what chance does clutzy old can-barely-clip-in-without-falling-over me stand against traffic?

As if I wasn't paranoid enough about riding my bike off the path!

(Warm healing thoughts going out to World Champ Dave Scott and his various broken bones...)

Evil Cross Training

2009-06-02T09:04:00.004-05:00

I was supposed to go for a bike ride Sunday. It was GOR. GEOUS.

But it was also the best chance I'd had with all the rain lately to tackle the monstrosity that is my landscaping bed. The grass has encroached 18" in some places, and there are weeds taller than my lilacs. I basically let it go last year - The Year of the Clinging Screaming Baby With All The Screaming - and it's become an embarrassment in a neighborhood of folks so anal about their lawns one neighbor even just had his yard re-sodded to eliminate the dandelions.

I pretty much hate gardening and take a 'however long it takes me to fill one lawn bag with weeds' approach to things (which given the state of things is about 6 minutes).

But I discovered the bottom few inches of mulch (which I'm pretty good at keeping fresh) has - as it should - decomposed into lovely earth full of fat, sassy worms. Which the encroaching grass is having a party with.

So my 10 minutes of weeding before my bike ride turned into 90 minutes of tearing out massive blocks of what's basically sod. Except with weeds and crabgrass. For every handful of grass I tried to pull out, the mulch came up - with varying degrees of resistance - in a 3 inch thick mat, courtesy of the weed blanket.

I pulled grass and weeds in massive mats until my quads were trembling and I got dizzy. Then I spent some time working on installing the retaining wall base because I could sit. (I got in all of 4 bricks out of what will probably be 90, but it's a start.)

I thought I'd put a wall in a few years from now, when money was less of an issue and I could do cosmetic things. Now I need it to be my Maginot Line against the encroaching grass so in future summers I can actually go on my bike rides.

It's worth noting for illustrative purposes that all this effort barely made a dent in the appearance of my poor neglected planting bed.

My legs were so blown at that point I had trouble walking into the house. I thought I'd rest a bit then hit the bike, but I never really recovered and spent the rest of the day assuaging my guilt and OCD by trying to finish small inside projects.

Two days later my hamstrings are still singing the blues - which I find odd considering it was my quads that gave out on me Sunday. I'm irritated at myself for missing the bike ride so soon before the race I haven't trained for. But I'm also oddly proud, because it doesn't just mean I worked hella hard, it means my concerted efforts to remind myself to lift/pull with my legs worked, and that dorky diligence saved my back from untold misery.

At Least I Look Good in Green

2009-05-28T14:18:00.002-05:00

Calorie Nazi Status Report... broke that frustrating plateau. I'm still about 6 pounds above where the Nazi thinks I should be by now, but I'm (very) slowy and (kinda sorta) steadily moving in the right direction again.

Upcoming Race Status Report... um, yeah. I have a race in 2.5 weeks. My foot, clearly, did not get the memo I should have been ramping up my workout frequency to prepare for this. Nor did my motivation level. Or my toddler's sleep habits. Or my work schedule. But I'm going and I'll have fun and I'll probably even finish, as long as I stick with the plan... slow and steady.

I'm trying to let go of my typical obsessive perfectionism and am all about being the tortoise amongst the hares at whatever I manage to achieve this summer. But that's ok, because green is a good color on me.

Worst Workout Ever

2009-05-18T09:21:00.002-05:00

Took Bear downstate to visit my mom and the rest of my family this weekend.

Drove 250 miles through storms so bad I repeatedly questioned my sanity for making the trip, arrived to 14 inches of water in Mom's basement. My mom who's clinically depressed and has a hoarding problem and never lifts a finger to do even the most basic housekeeping task. (My SIL goes by EVERY SINGLE DAY to try to keep a handle on the insanity. And the smell.)

The SIL and I put at least 40 hours into cleaning her house out this weekend... only about half of which was related to the flood.

My Little Mechanic

2009-05-06T20:37:00.003-05:00

Baby Bear helps his mommy get ready for their run together.

Best. Therapy. EVAH.

2009-05-01T17:35:00.003-05:00

Life has been getting to me lately, so this morning I developed my own private counseling regime to do with ~~my treadmill~~ the therapist who lives in my bedroom...

1) Drop the Bear off with a responsible adult. Or if really desperate, with his grandma.
2) Plug iPod into treadmill speakers and crank volume to just shy of rupturing eardrums.
3) Cue up Theory of a Deadman's I Hate My Life.
4) Set therapist to fastest sustainable pace and scream song at top of lungs while running ass off.
5) Replay song as necessary until the endorphins make you happy enough to hug strangers.

AUUUGGHH

2009-04-29T12:25:00.001-05:00

BabyBearbrokethespacebaroffmycomputer!!AAUUGGH!!

That'swhatIgetfortryingtotakeashower.

PSA - Junk Mail Reduction

2009-04-27T12:04:00.001-05:00

Got a link today regarding an online petition to support legislation to create a Do Not Mail Registry for junk mail (similar, obviously, to the Do Not Call registry for telemarketers).

In addition to the petition... http://salsa.democracyinaction.org/o/281/t/5980/petition.jsp?petition_KEY=941
(sorry for the crap links, too much migraine to do good ones)

Most companies allow you to opt out in writing, which is a pain because there are a zillion companies. This site provides a slick little opt-out tool that - after providing the name & mailing address you want removed from the list - gives you a 9 page PDF containing 17 form letters, pre-populated with the address to be removed and addressed to each of the various junk mail houses. I was THRILLED because this exact thing has been on my To Do List for ages, but it's such a PIA to figure it all out.

With this all you have to do is cut them in half (in keeping with their goals of reduction in paper waste, there are 2 printed per page), sign the letters, address the envelopes and stamp 'em. It took me all of 10 minutes. http://donotmail.org/form.php?id=50

And for the places that insist you call to opt out, they provide that info too... http://donotmail.org/article.php?id=50

It was so quick and easy I'm also going to do it for my mom.