I'm sure I've hinted here and there that Bear's not the easiest kid to live with. I love him more than life itself and I wouldn't change having him for the world. But there are days - and they're more often than I care to admit - that he reduces me to a sobbing mess. When he hasn't reduced me to a shrieking shell of my former self.
His daycare teachers half-jokingly refer to him as the kid they had to make special rules for. My best friend -a former child care professional - frequently reassures me that his behavior is atypical and it's not because I'm a bad mother.
It takes sharing his care with daycare, grandma and close friends for me to maintain my mental health. My best friend calls me almost every morning and evening, partially to make sure I'm doing ok after a day alone with him.
Seriously. He's THAT hard to take care of.
He's 22 months old now, and for the better part of this year everyone who's ever had contact with him has asked or suggested if he's ADHD, autistic or hearing impaired.
I basically blew it off because, well, he's 1. But now that he's almost 2 and had a frightening number of behaviors on an autism checklist, I decided it was time to bring it up with his pediatrician. She told me she doesn't feel qualified to diagnose these things in such a young child and referred me to a pediatric neurologist for evaluation.
We just got back. He said:
- Bear's definitively not autistic. (PHEW!)
- Bear is much too young to diagnose anything like ADHD (that's what I figured... but it's not ruled out)
- certain behaviors aside, Bear does not appear to be hearing impaired (I didn't think so)
What Bear IS, the neurologist feels, is "significantly speech delayed." He recommended immediately getting him into speech therapy. The goal is to keep him from backsliding from crazy smart to developmentally delayed by the time school rolls around.
The good news is that his 'receptive' speech is age appropriate (and possibly even advanced). It's his 'expressive' speech that's behind. Basically, he understands everything you say, he just doesn't talk back.
It doesn't explain the outrageously challenging behavior that characterizes my Bear, but at least it's a plan. It beats crying from frustration at the end of the day and not knowing if there's anything I can do to help him.
5 comments:
that is so good to have something to DO! and you might be surprised at the difference it makes in Bear's behaviour.
One of the most reassuring things my mum ever said to me was that in her opinion (and she was a kinder teacher for 30 years) my duaghter was one of the most difficult children she'd ever met. IT WASN'T ME!!! and it isn't you!!!
((((hugs))) kids are so haaaaard.
something to check out: www.apraxia-kids.org where receptive language is high and expressive is low-sometimes also characterized by sensory integration. also really helpful was "The Late Talker" (forgot the author). my son was born with verbal apraxia and its usually not diagnosed until 2-3 years of age. You are not alone my dear and there is help. angie
Even with my kid's "easy" personality, I still need help from my parents, husband part-time at home in the mornings, afternoon daycare, and two best girlfriends who stop by at least one evening a week to keep me mentally sane!
Speech therapy is a good thing. Does Bear know any sign language? I would start there, maybe some of his behavior is due to frustration. Being a parent is a challenge, having a support system is so crucial for the entire family.
(looking forward to the day I can afford a new pc...)
Wishing you all the best that this will help. You're obviously an awesome mom and he's lucky to have both of you looking out for his best interests.
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