Friday, May 02, 2008

My Roots are Showing

I'm packing up and heading downstate for the weekend to help my mom move into her new house. I'm in for a weekend of bad grammar (did you know "wash" has an "r" in it?) and Nascar references, where folks think they're living high on the hog if they're drinking Budweiser Select on a Saturday night.

(The liquor stores in my home town have not - I am not making this up - ever heard of the beers my husband and I drink. And they're not THAT obscure. Some of them aren't even imports.)

Even though I was born and raised there, these trips back home are always a bit of a culture shock for me. I guess I just wasn't cut out to be a redneck. My brothers, on the other hand, have embraced it wholeheartedly.

For instance, one of them holds titles in bowhunting and wasn't going to come to my wedding because I had inconsiderately failed to account for deer hunting season when choosing the date. And I almost got my ass seriously kicked by his wife once by suggesting that Nascar was not technically an important part of life.

My other brother... last time I saw him a few years back he was maybe 30 and was displaying a disturbing lack of, well, teeth. And he named his son after Dale Earnhart. (And I don't care if I spelled that wrong. I'm not even going to bother to check).

So, with that in mind, I thought I'd share a few of these with y'all. Because while these are not technically anyone I know, I stand a damn good chance of seeing one or more of these things in person this weekend.

Redneck Grill



Redneck Pet Carrier

I'm ashamed to admit this picture exists of one of my cats. But at least it was a better beer.


Redneck Wedding Reception

This reminds me of my cousin's wedding. She didn't do an actual keg stand, but probably only because there was no keg. She did parade into the reception holding a beer and cigarette in one hand and her baby in the other. Very classy.


Redneck Dog House

This was not taken at my childhood home... but the only reason I know that is because those aren't my dogs. I so wish I was kidding.

6 comments:

LBTEPA said...

In a fascinatingly awful, way that last one is quite clever.
Have fun being an anthropologist!

Sixteen Chickens said...

Welcome to my world!!! Or should I say "welcome home?"

Melissa said...

Having grown up in Tennessee with more family in southern Illinois, I know exactly what you mean. That's why I live in L.A. now. LOL

Herself, the GeekGirl said...

Oh, my. You're reminding me of my ex-husband, Larry the Cable guy. Actually, he aspired to be just like Larry the Cable guy. And imported beer? Well that's just plain fancy. What kind of hoity-toity girl are you?

Kim Herring said...

This absolutely cracked me up! Unfortunately I have seen too much of this in my lifetime. And what happens if you don't like to drink beer?

Erin said...

Hilarious. Love the doghouse.