Molasses in January Ain't Got Nothin on Me

I have a question.

I'm not built for speed. This is not a secret, or a surprise.

So, I've optimistically decided that must mean I'm built for endurance (side-stepping the obvious conclusion I'm really not cut out for this at all).

Here's the thing. Since I started getting back into running this spring, I've noticed something odd/weird/new/interesting.

Running has never been "easy" for me, but before I got pregnant it has become, let's call it "tolerable." I knew starting over would entail some major suckage and it pretty much has. My HR is too high, I fatigue too easily, I breathe too hard, my form falls apart too quickly... and that's all at a blazing 13:30 pace.

But the last few LSD workouts I noticed something interesting happening pretty consistently around the 30 minute mark.

My HR eases up a little, my breathing becomes less labored, I lose that explody-head feeling and I go from 'ohdeargawdpleaseletitend' to 'huh, maybe I can go a little longer.'

The problem is that, aside from all these nagging injuries (which are keeping my workouts on the short side), it's still pretty early in my training plan and by the time I hit the 30 minute mark I'm so close to done I don't get a chance to see if I really can keep going.

Is this normal? Is my engine just so darn slow to warm up it's not happening until 30+ minutes after I start running? Or does it just take that long to numb to the suckage?

My Roots are Showing

I'm packing up and heading downstate for the weekend to help my mom move into her new house. I'm in for a weekend of bad grammar (did you know "wash" has an "r" in it?) and Nascar references, where folks think they're living high on the hog if they're drinking Budweiser Select on a Saturday night.

(The liquor stores in my home town have not - I am not making this up - ever heard of the beers my husband and I drink. And they're not THAT obscure. Some of them aren't even imports.)

Even though I was born and raised there, these trips back home are always a bit of a culture shock for me. I guess I just wasn't cut out to be a redneck. My brothers, on the other hand, have embraced it wholeheartedly.

For instance, one of them holds titles in bowhunting and wasn't going to come to my wedding because I had inconsiderately failed to account for deer hunting season when choosing the date. And I almost got my ass seriously kicked by his wife once by suggesting that Nascar was not technically an important part of life.

My other brother... last time I saw him a few years back he was maybe 30 and was displaying a disturbing lack of, well, teeth. And he named his son after Dale Earnhart. (And I don't care if I spelled that wrong. I'm not even going to bother to check).

So, with that in mind, I thought I'd share a few of these with y'all. Because while these are not technically anyone I know, I stand a damn good chance of seeing one or more of these things in person this weekend.

Redneck Grill

Redneck Pet Carrier

I'm ashamed to admit this picture exists of one of my cats. But at least it was a better beer.

Redneck Wedding Reception

This reminds me of my cousin's wedding. She didn't do an actual keg stand, but probably only because there was no keg. She did parade into the reception holding a beer and cigarette in one hand and her baby in the other. Very classy.

Redneck Dog House

This was not taken at my childhood home... but the only reason I know that is because those aren't my dogs. I so wish I was kidding.

Hazard Lights

First, there was the tendinitis in my left wrist.

Then came the plantar fasciitis in my left foot, and hints of it in my right. The right foot was cured by the orthotics PT Chris gave me, and the left foot was significantly mitigated. But I still limped pretty badly a few hours after a run, even if it was completely pain free from start to finish (no gutting it out over here!).

Then last Monday night, while sitting on the couch shortly before bed I noticed my right knee felt stiff. I tried to stand up and it was immediately obvious my chondromalacia was acting up. Thankfully it wasn't painful like in the past, but it was very stiff and swollen and I could barely move it, let alone walk or climb the stairs to bed.

The next morning I had PT for my wrist, which Baby Bear usually tags along for. I could hardly move and carrying his seat was beyond me at that point, so my awesome BF called into work for the morning to watch him so I could hobble in for treatment. PT Chris taped up my knee while my wrist got zapped, which made a huuuuuge difference and allowed me to function while it healed up.

Then she said my wrist clearly isn't improving and put a cortisone patch thingy on it and taught me to tape the joint to help stabilize it when I can't wear the brace (when I'm taking care of Baby Bear).

I was just going to make this a 'pictures tell the story' post because I do have pix of my various braces, orthotics, tapings and ouchies but I'd have to go down the steps to get the pictures off the camera and I just don't have it in me.

I'm pretty much limping along in the multi-sport breakdown lane. The hazard lights are on and at this point I'm really just hoping to scrape by my race in June.

Needless to say I took the whole last week off. By last night I was starting to feel more like myself, so I seriously modified my scheduled 3 mile outdoor LSD and did a 'let's see how it feels for how long' treadmill run.

Wasn't too bad (14:00 pace at 1% incline), but had to cut it off at 2.5 miles because my knee started to have an opinion on the proceedings. A little bedtime ice and ibuprofen did the trick, but I'm clearly walking on eggshells these days.

My current plan is to mosey through my June triathlon however I can, conserve my body as much as possible and focus all my good days on really training for the half marathon. It's becoming very clear I won't be able to ask much more of my body this season.

Baby Brick

This weekend was eventful in more ways than just discovering the whole incline workout theory works... Baby Bear turned 5 months old, we finally bought our jogging stroller and we had our first Baby Bear Brick Workout Extravaganza!

OK, so it was a pretty sad brick (3 mile bike, 2 mile run) with the longest transition in history, which included a breast feeding, being spit up on and a complete change of clothing for both of us. But it was a gorgeous day and we spent most of it outside, so I wasn't gonna be picky.

[Ed. Note: We could only go 3 miles on the bike because he hated the trailer and cried every time it hit a bump, so I headed back home after only a few minutes. I strongly recommend against buying this brand of trailer - get something with better tires and maybe a suspension so the ride isn't so jarring.]

After the shortest bike leg ever recorded, it was time to test out my shiny new BOB Ironman stroller!


This stroller is Da. BOMB!!! It was so worth the wait. It's light as a feather, practically runs itself and Baby Bear was comfortable even though he's just barely big enough to sit up in it. The only thing I would change is remembering to put on my running bra before venturing out with it next time. THAT was an unfortunate oversight.

After workout time was done we relaxed and goofed around outside. Baby Bear got his first good look at grass...


And promptly decided he hated it.


So we chilled out watching the Cubbies beat the Pirates and called it a great day.

(We think his first words will be "Just wait 'til next year!")

I Told You So

Last week I started putting my treadmill on a 1% incline for my indoor runs. Because I've always struggled with the frustration of finding myself able to run less than half the distance outdoors as in, and I'd read in many articles and been told by many people this would help because it more closely simulates running on pavement.

I've known about this helpful hint for at least two years. But I've never used it because of these very important mitigating circumstances:

- It's hard.
- I don't want to.
- Seriously, it's hard.

I finally caved and started the incline thing because my sheer panic over the half marathon thing is, at this point, outmitigating my prior mitigations.

So, after only one stinkin' week of doing it this new way my weekend outdoor run felt substantially more manageable, and the whole workout my Inner Runner was rubbing a great big giant "I told you so" in my face.

So, mitigating circumstances notwithstanding, I feel like a moron for not doing this sooner.

But on the bright side, at least I found a way to put a dent in the panic. : D