It wasn't voluntary and I went kicking and screaming.
I clung to the wagon by my fingertips and let it drag me for months. But I couldn't hang on any more, and a few months back I finally let go.
Even then, I stumbled along trying to keep it in my sights, hoping if I limped and crawled long enough I'd catch up eventually.
With every missed workout I could almost see the wagon getting smaller and farther away, until it finally dropped out of sight over the horizon.
Since then I've been drifting aimlessly, my weight creeping up and my mood plummeting down.
I've been beyond overwhelmed with everything life has thrown at me the last few months and trying to get back to my training routine hasn't even been on my radar, let alone my priority list.
The result is that I am, currently, a raging bitch. It has seriously got to be hell to live with me. I used to be proud of my patience. Now I don't even know the meaning of the word. I get up pissed off and I go to bed pissed off. I hate everyone. I think about kicking puppies. It's not good, people.
I miss the old me. The REAL me. The friendly, patient, happy me. The endorphined out me.
So I decided it's time for a shiny new wagon.
At the core of things I'm a pretty basic girl, so it can be a pretty basic wagon. I don't need fancy fold down seats and juice box holders. Or professional coaches and 12 week training cycles.
I'm going all the way back to basics. Five years ago, I found my way to a 5-7 workouts a week by starting with one treadmill session a week. I can do it again.
So, that's where I'll start. This week.
Here's hoping I find the way to my shiny new wagon by Christmas.
6 comments:
It's a good wagon! You go girl!
You WILL get there. Good luck.
P.S. I'd like to hitch a ride, too.
Oh I know those feelings - that's how I got into triathlons in the first place!!! Good luck....
Hey, I need some serious help too, maybe we should do it together? I'm not at the raging bitch level, in fact I think I'm just the opposite, I've become apathetic. Every time I look in the mirror I'm like "Who IS that person? Man, do I look old. And fat. Oh well, on to other things." But I need to move around more. Seriously. MORE. And as much as I hate to say it I think I need the calorie Nazi back in my life. I know. I know. I can't believe I said that either. I was thinking about starting in the new year, since I am very good at the resolution bit. But one workout a week until then. I think I could do it. Yeah. I've got to do it. Sorry I didn't mean to write you a book about myself. LOL! This is your blog. But anyway, I'm here and I need help and I think there is strength in numbers. So email me and I WILL email you back, it all starts here.
sending "grim determination" vibes your way - and "have a lovely time" vibes too.
Guess what - the verification word is "wisest"!
Michelle, We are here for you! Please email and i will help in anyway possible. Now i have to email Sharon! She is down the street!
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