Announcement

We wanted to wait until the official "out of the woods" 12-14 weeks to make this general knowledge, but it's been such an ordeal it simply got too hard to keep pretending there was nothing going on. So, here it is, even though I'm only 10 weeks along...

After more than 6 years of infertility, Wonderful Husband and I are expecting a baby! No medical intervention either. Apparently for me, (relatively) clean living, healthy eating and lots of exercise were better medicine than anything a fertility clinic could offer.

Part of the reason we've kept quiet is because we're realistic about things. I'm older, I have a messy medical history, and my doctor has been open and honest about the increased risks. Basically, we didn't want to have to untell the whole damn world if this didn't go well.

But like I said, this has become such an ordeal it simply isn't plausible to keep it quiet any longer. I've disappeared from my life - triathlon, personal and professional - and people are starting to ask questions. I'm too sick to keep up the facade any longer, and if people care enough about me to be asking, I should do them the honor of telling the truth. And besides, this has come far enough along that should it end badly, our friends have the right to know what we've been going through because it would be a genuine loss.

That said, except for being so hideously sick the doctor has had to talk about things like hospitals and IV fluids, the actual pregnancy is going swimmingly. All the levels of the various things are where they are supposed to be. Everything is the size it is supposed to be, when it's supposed to be it. And a teeny tiny little hearts is beating just the way it should.

Some of you don't know me all that well yet, so let me reassure you that we are deeply happy about this. We're not gushy hearts-and-flowers kinda folks, so on the surface we might not seem as enthusiastic as the typical expectant parents. And I promise I'll be more demonstrably happy once the constant nausea and vomiting phase has passed.

I've been Draft-posting since the ordeal began, so now that it's out in the open I'll start sharing those. I'll warn you ahead of time - so far this has been the worst experience of my life, so if you're you're expecting gushy new mommy stuff you might want to take a break from reading my blog until this phase passes.

Sayonara Sunjaya

It's so refreshing to know I get to watch Idol tonight sans Sunjaya.

Not that he isn't a charming young man with great hair. But he was just SO out of his league it was driving me nuts.

And it's not that he doesn't have a voice - he does. He simply had no idea what to do with it. Most nights I'd feel an irresistible urge to reach down into his throat and rip it out - set the damn thing free to actually sing.

Now that he's not there to ruin the night with his frivolous karaoke performances, we can get down to serious Idol business.

I'm still voting for both LaKesha and Melinda. I have no idea how I'll choose in the end...

Microscopic Assasin

The tree pollen has arrived.

God help me.

I'll never get over just how excruciating this actually is. Like having a cold, flu and sinus infection all at once. I am woman, hear me roar and all - I can make dinner with one hand and rearrange the furniture with another. I am faster than a 10-items-or-less fast lane and can leap tall transition areas in a single bound. I can take a bikini wax without batting an eye. How is it such a teeny, tiny invisible thing can destroy me so utterly?

Now THAT'S Dedication

I'm a bit behind on reading blogs, so I apologize if anyone else already posted this. I just loved it.

Astronaut Runs Boston Marathon in Space

Inspiration

I met another triathlete at my physical therapy appointment today. A nice looking, professional, extremely fit gentleman of indeterminate age. From his appearance I'd have guessed early 40s, but his gray hair suggested perhaps even 50s. PT Chris whispered a few things to me as he was coming in because she knew I'd appreciate who he was and what he's accomplished...

- he started doing triathlon in 1991
- he was very competitive
- his IM times were all in the 9-10 hour range
- he's done Kona
- he's got serious knee problems, so can't run anymore
- since he can no long tri, now he focuses on long distance cycling

He's known Chris for years, so when they crossed paths recently out on a bike ride he mentioned some lower back/leg pain he was having. She told him to see his doctor right away, which sent him to her for therapy. I happened to hear her reviewing his diagnosis with her assistant - turns out he's got degenerative problems in his spine.

I've had a lot of challenges to overcome, but I haven't remotely had to face anything like this - nothing that would permanently impact my ability to race. He's already lost the ability to run (he said sometimes just walking a block can be excruciating), and is facing losing the ability to bike, and he's still doing everything he can to get treatment so he can keep doing the things he loves for as long as possible. An absolute inspiration, and just the mental kick in the pants I needed while things are a little nuts for me, physically speaking.

Bonus... He happened to have his Chocolate Lab - an incredibly well behaved 17 month female named Sweetie - in the car. Chris insisted he bring her in during his appointment, so we all got puppy love while we got worked on. Chris even had me sit in a chair instead of lay on the table for my treatments so I could give her love, which she soaked right up. Not the first time I've seen a dog in there, but the first time I've gotten to hang out with one the whole time. I LOVE her office.

Since he can't run now but has an energetic dog to work with, he was really excited to hear about how I bike with Kona. He's going to pull out his mountain bike and give it a shot with Sweetie.

Paging Global Warning

Um, I'm sorry, did I miss something?! It IS springtime, right?

*Looks at weather report.*

*Looks out window.*

*Looks at weather report again.*

22. Feels like 8. 15-25 mph gusts.

Maybe I do need to put the bike back on the trainer, 'cause there's nothing that's gonna convince me I need to ride in this weather.

Flexibility

I was born the kind of person who sees things a certain way. I can't look at challenge and see a problem. If it's a particularly big challenge I may need some time to be emotional, to process what's before me. But the immediate next phase is to see options and steps and possible solutions. Nothing is impossible if you break it down and make a plan.

And boy, do I love to plan. I used to get all verklempt if my plans didn't go the way I, well, planned. But with age came maturity came the ability to take it all in stride, re-evaluate the situation, and revise the plan.

My health has been the primary source of my planning woes - the place from whence wooden shoes are flung into the workings of my carefully scheduled life. And once again, my body has served up a surprise that's going to make me pause, and rethink things, and move ahead on a slightly different course.

It's too soon to tell if this will be a short-lived challenge or a permanent adjustment. All I know is that I'm ready for it.

Kicking Myself

I was so psyched about the Ironman 70.3 broadcast Saturday I even put it in my calendar to remind myself to Tivo it.

Guess what I forgot to do? *smacks head*