I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who has been so supportive during this incredibly challenging time. Things are gradually getting better and I've managed to pull myself out of the Black Pit o' Despair in which I was so gloriously wallowing.
Things aren't perfect - WH didn't magically get his job back, I'm still pretty sick and my milk didn't come back overnight, but things are moving along in those areas too.
I think the Little Geek is already trying to teach me what it's going to be like to be his mom. Just when I'd burned through all the pumped milk stored in the fridge and freezer and had tearfully consented to mix that first bottle of formula... he magically agreed to latch on and nurse. There are still issues with him not being able to nurse without a special shield thingy - it boils down to teeny tiny little babies and stupidly ginormous boobs - but the important thing is that, shield thingy aside, he's getting it directly from me now. He's gaining weight and back on the path to being a normal, healthy baby. It could still be another month of the shield thingy and pumping 8-10 times day to supplement his nursings, but we'll see. I'm much more relaxed about it now that he's actually nursing and there's a reasonable way to put a potential end date on it.
I've got to say that if I weren't a triathlete I'm not sure I could have made it through this monster sized Prozac Patch. I had to pull on every physical and emotional reserve I had to made the last 10 days happen without losing it (and I'm using the phrase "without losing it" pretty loosely here).
Triathlon taught me that some pain is good, some pain is bad, and how to decide which is which. It taught me to push through the pain when it needs to be pushed through in order to reap the benefits.
This situation forced me to evaluate if this pain - physical and emotional - was worth it, and having decided in the affirmative I was able to push through it somehow. Am still pushing through it, in fact, as I'm just now experiencing the pain of a new nursing mom since Alex got such a late start.
I'm not done with this race yet, but I can hear the finish line music in the distance.
And that's good enough for today.
12 comments:
Funny how babies work?! Glad to hear things are looking up for your family. I had/have big time PPD issues so anytime you need to talk let me know.
Hi, I've been kind of following along and commiserating with you. First off, congratulations!! You have such a beautiful baby!
I had a lot of the same issues as you, and my little guy needed a shield for awhile, yoo. He's now 2 months and I've finally got him off it! I was a slave to it for awhile, but it was such a blessing at first to help get him going.
Also, my hubby and I got really sick when the baby was 2 weeks old. We could barely move. But the baby never caught it, and I think it was because of breastfeeding. Hopefully your little one will stay heatlhy, too. Good luck!
Oh Michelle, I'm glad that you're pushing through this tough time! Your little guy is so lucky to have such an awesome mommy!
I hope that you and your WH recover quickly! Thinking of you!
(((HUGS)))
I knew you could do it! The hormonal rollercoaster is the worst! Glad to know you're still thinking about triathlon! Teri and I are already formulating a plan for next June.
Hurray for Boobies!!! (How could I not get in a Bloodhound Gang reference?) Or at least hurray that's he's latching on and that things are getting better. You're a tough chica and I know you'll make it through this rough patch and any others that might head your way.
Hey, there's NOTHING wrong with "stupidly ginormous boobs." Not a single thing.
The picture melted my heart...glad you're fighting through...
Hey Siren, mega-congratulations!!!!! What a cute baby boy! And give yourself time. First time moms sometimes run into issues. My best friend's wife had horrible luck breast feeding their first child. With the second, it was like night and day. Relax, breathe, and it will work out.
We'll keep you in our prayers for all the little issues. Every little bit helps.
What a cutie!!!
Hang in there. I promise you, every second is worth it. Way to push through when things are tough.
*hugs*
I have been praying for you and the little geek. Hang in there. It goes so fast. You blink and their 10. :-( You are an awesome mommy. Keep up the great work.
Melissa
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