Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Could someone please tell me...

... when, exactly, swimming 1000 yards went from being my ultimate killer workout to being a compromise workout on a bad day? When I'm tired from work and have to force myself to the gym, when I put off going for hours and still find the pool full of obnoxious, lane-ignoring kids at 8 pm, when my shoulders are still aching from massage therapy, when my eyes itch and throat is closed from hay fever, when my head is pounding from allergies and the stench of an over-chlorinated pool.

When did that happen? I haven't been swimming more than that on a routine basis - too be honest I've been swimming less. But it suddenly seems like the easiest thing in the world.

Something's happening in my mind. A paradigm shift. I can't figure it out and maybe I'm not supposed to. But distances - in all three sports - that used to seem unconquerable now feel mundane. Routine. Not worth getting wet if I swim less than 1000 yards. Not worth dragging out the good bike if I'm doing less than 20K. Even running a 5K - which I can't even run all the way yet - seems inadequate.

I forgot my lap watch tonight, so only timed a few laps on the wall clock. I was clocking around 40 second laps and I was disappointed. Disappointed?! Two months ago I'd resigned myself to never reaching that speed and now it feels slow even as I'm swimming it. When did that happen?

As I approached 1000 yards I found myself doing Iron math. 4000 yards. Swimming that workout 3 more times. And you know what? I could get on board with it. It no longer seems like an impossible dream.

Something's happening to me. I'm improving exponentially at a time when I'm consciously holding myself back from the sport, when my focus is on healing. On getting down the basics. And I don't understand. Maybe it's the amount of weight I've lost. Maybe it's because I'm Type A OCD over-achiever and can't leave well enough alone. Maybe it's just part of a triathlete's journey.

I don't know. But maybe it's time to let go and see where it takes me.

2 comments:

TRI TO BE FUNNY said...

Enjoy the ride, sister! The beauty of pushing yourself seeing the results that you are now seeing. Try to enjoy this newfound level! Congratulations on your success.

kozzy said...

Siren,
I am new to the triathlon scene and can totally relate to what you wrote...a year ago I would have bet a lot of money that there was no *&f*& way that I could do one of these races. I just finished an olympic distance on Saturday! I'm at the back of the pack, but so, so happy to be there at all.