I've been sad for a while because I can't realistically afford to do more than one triathlon this season. I was floundering emotionally - kind of feeling like I didn't deserve to call myself a triathlete, didn't deserve to hang with the Alliance, if all I was doing was one measley sprint in 2006. But that's the hand I was dealt this year, so I needed to stop feeling sorry for myself and move on.
Today I got on the scale and, while it wasn't great news, it was a two-pound step in the right direction. Which, after being stuck at the same weight for 8 months, is something. And it got me to thinking - what changed to finally create progress, however slight?
I've made a lot of noise about how it's not fair that I can eat right and exercise 3-4 times a week and not lose weight. This is absolutely true, I'm not making it up... but it's time for me to stop dwelling on the unfairness. This is where I started my attitude adjustment. In the years before my thyroid was diagnosed I would actually gain weight under those circumstances. So I'm happy now, because I suddenly realized I have the ability to maintain my goal weight when I get there, something I've frankly been worried sick about.
I did the math and saw that the weight loss stagnated when my cardio sessions dropped from 60+ minutes to the 30-40 range. That's when the light bulb went on - even with a lingering cough, even being weak and tiring easily, I've got the fear because I registered for a race, so I've consciously pushed my cardio sessions to the 45-60+ range. And bam! Progress resumed, even taking it slow and easy. I'm particularly happy about this, because for ages I've been sure that it was the 6-7 workouts a week that previously did the trick and have been agonizing over how to get those back into my schedule. I'm thrilled to know that I can just push my existing workouts a little longer to see progress.
The last piece of the puzzle is that I lost very little weight during actual race training last year - the nutritional needs for weight loss and training are more or less mutually exclusive.
I put all this together and realized it's a good thing that I don't happen to have the disposable income to blow on half a dozen races this year. Because at this rate it would take a decade to lose it all, that's just not acceptable, and I need to focus seriously on weight loss. I'll still do all the things I would have done if I was going for that goal Oly in August - I'll just do them without the speed and intensity of race training. The feeling of accomplishment this will give me - to conquer those distances, to know I could have done an Oly - will be enough for me this year. I'll take off enough weight in the process to make that Oly a reality next season.
Race training is what keeps me motivated, but the bigger picture is that if I focus on race training it will take much longer to reach my goal weight. And the faster I reach my goal weight, the better racer I can be.
2 comments:
I've always felt that you are what you declare...for example...I'm an athlete, I'm a runner, I'm a loser...I figure whatever you tell yourself you are..you are.
I'm working on telling myself I'm a hot independently wealthy philanthropist who has wicked secret sex with her hot massage therapist...Myself is not buying into it thus far...I'll let you know how it goes:)
I think that's a GREAT idea! I was actually kicking around trying to talk the ol' RTP into doing something like that some day this summer; it occurred to me it was realistic once I realized that workouts for oly distance will be longer than an actual sprint race.
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