From April 17

(In Which I Felt Beyond Helpless)

Today was quite possibly the worst day of my life.

I woke up and immediately knew something was wrong - like I'd acquired a full-blown sinus infection overnight.

'Cause today, the tree pollen hit. Nothing like checking weather.com and seeing a code orange, 'extremely high' pollen warning for your area.

I'd been warned that pregnancy can exacerbate allergies. I was trying not to think about it because mine are bad enough as it is. Today I learned just how bad it can get.

Nausea & vomiting from the baby all day anyway, plus waking up with a pounding headache, stuffy head, sinus pressure, painfully scratchy throat, runny nose, sneezing, itchy eyes, and sinuses draining badly enough that generally causes vomiting on its own. Oh, and feverish and alternating sweats and chills.

Every minute. All day long.

I can't take any of my regular allergy medications because they're not allowed for pregnancy. I did what I could within what's allowed, but everything I tried barely took the edge off.

At about 10 pm, getting sick yet again (I lost count how many times by then), I finally lost it and broke down sobbing. I'd cry and then get sick again and then cry some more. My poor husband (who was also suffering badly from the tree pollen because his allergy refill hasn't come in yet) could only watch helplessly. It was horrible.

I can't even say I'm taking this one day at a time any more. I'm forced to take it hour by hour, and sometimes minute by minute.

I can barely work. I'm behind on several projects and stalling the launch of a couple more. I haven't been able to bill for anything in weeks and I'm broke. I'm terrified that if this keeps up any longer I'm going to ruin us financially. The backup plan for if my business didn't make enough money has always been for me to return to work, but if the reason the business is failing is that I'm too sick to work... there you go.

I'm only at 8 1/2 weeks. I have no idea how I'm going to make it through this.

Tomorrow's pollen forecast is just as bad, so I can expect more of the same.